Tuesday, 20 March 2018

Behind the admiration for C.G. Jung's ideology

I have this slightly crazy admiration towards Carl Gustav Jung's thoughts and ideology, even though I've orientated myself only into very small bits of it. For a while I've know this admiration came from my past life, when I was a male Jew, most likely a psychology teacher in Germany (who also experienced the horrors of the Holocaust). A couple of days ago I was writing a creative piece of writing (the world view for a live roleplaying project). I like to think well through the symbolism and the emotional logic towards magic or any other fictive elements. I was working on the idea of light and darkness in magic, which put me into deeper thinking on how that would work psychologically speaking with the one casting the spells-- the human mind. When I was listing different analogies of darkness and light (like yin and yang) I got spontaneously the words anima and animus in my head. All I knew about them was that they represented the feminine and masculine aspects of... something? I thought to myself I would check out their further meaning later. Before I did so, I created my own logic about the evolution of self through reflecting upon our shadow-self etc. in different stages. When I finally googled the deeper idea behind the anima and animus, I was stunned. I had recreated the same logic between them and the shadow-self as Carl Gustav Jung had himself. They were actually also important tools in the layered process of working through light and dark. The more I've come by Jung's thinking, I also truly understand the spirituality behind it. It has it's holes and small downsides, but booooy, I just think he was a genius, because when he was certain about something, he didn't wait for other people's approval in every case in his life. Neither did he even research too much if all of his hypothesis were true, because he just knew he was right. I believe I was both under the spirits' influence while finding this logic, but also unlocking some part of my past incarnation's memories. Today I have been so full of appreciation. How much the psychology has helped the human kind! In my mind it would do so much good to so many people to learn more psychology at a younger age and be provided with psychiatric services even for those without mental illness. This world is crazy and sometimes I think we'd need a free outlet for our inner child to show itself safely. Did you know Jung actually explored the idea of the spirit world's existence? And he is the father of psychoanalysis, someone who has in my mind had a very thorough effect to modern day psychology.

Sunday, 11 March 2018

Was JK Rowling Charles Dickens?

A certain page dedicated to the reincarnation phenomenon suggests that JK Rowling was Charles Dickens in her past life. Now-a-days this information seems to have been deleted and found only in Walter Semkiw's book. I find the reincarnation case plausible.

When I was a child, 9 years old, I got the first touch of the Harry Potter book series just before the first film was released in 2001. I remember myself getting thoroughly confused, when all of a sudden there was mentioned sneakers (or similar footwear). That was because I had imagined it all happened in the 19th century and that's when I realized it was not how it was meant.

I believe I had not seen the film trailer at that point yet as it was a grave disappointment for me to have imagined the character Draco while reading the first book a certain way and then seeing how his looks were supposed to be in the film on some of the film merchandise's packages at the toy section of a store. Also in 2001 the Victorian era fashion and history wasn't a _thing_ for the kids of my age (and I believe it wasn't a thing in Finland at all yet at that point.) Any thought of history as a concept around that age gave me a very unpleasant picture in my mind of a stout mean woman wearing a headscarf, all in black and white.

Regarding all of this and other things I experienced as a kid I feel and believe I was already sensitive to energies and past life triggers. What I do these days is past life reading in the communication of the spirit world. Gosh I feel so tempted to ask my guides more about this subject. I've for a long time had an assumption I was a French woman at that time who was into fiction, especially The Three Musketeers (this subject of fascination might have also been created in one of the later incarnations) and trying her wings in creative writing. I'm really an intensive fan in my own way. I absolutely love the atmosphere that isn't strictly constructed from our modern day (muggle) society.

What do you think about the Rowling vs Dickens comparison? I find it immensely intriguing.

Monday, 5 March 2018

Twice a Roman soldier

I dreamed the 10th of November that I was a Roman soldier called Cyrus and in the dream there was some confusion to whether I was really Roman or Greek my dreamself didn't know how to interpret it. Our troops were wondering somewhere around the area of present day Belgium and there was something going on about Celts causing problems from the distance. My dreamself had a discussion with a friend of mine from this life. In the dream she got burned sort of at a stake and it had something to do with the Celts, but I didn't feel she was Roman in that life... My past self was uncertain and maybe even shy by nature, not very much a warrior type at all. I also remember seeing a big man carrying a large backpack-type of thing when in another scene our troops were walking on a shoreline. My past self was worried and sad for him and asked if he was ok, but the man just reassured he was fine, even though it was obvious he was straining himself.

I always thought the Celts were a British thing, but according to history they seem to have been around Belgium. I also found a very intriguing piece of information from Wikipedia: "According to Julius Caesar, the ancient Celts practiced the burning alive of humans in a number of settings."

Later last year I saw another dream that I was Roman and "the Italians" were attacking our side. I was again a soldier inside the 2nd or 3rd floor of a building. The uniform was different from the dream where I was Cyrus. There was a battle where so many of other soldiers from our troops died. I remember that first wave cornered me emotionally to take cover while the others were dying. I managed to survive. Then, from a large window space, there came a man with his hands raised in the air. He asked me not to kill him and he told me he was just a simple merchant selling wine which he had with him. He bargained me with his wine which did interest me, but I bought naught. I sent him on his way. Only a few moments later I realize the man was a scout to see how many men we had and what kind of a building it was that we had for our troops. Not too long after that armed men started to flood in from the window. I had my short sword and I decided to use it. It was all to my surprise that I didn't instantly die (in fact in the dream the moment of death or injury was never shown). I remember my past self cutting the blade to a man's neck and how it took actually more than one tries to cut the head off. I didn't want to leave them suffering, but there was also a spontaneous burst of curiosity for how that would feel and believe that on some level my past self did enjoy it. The dream stopped before the battle was over. 

I soon Googled if there was any sense at all to this dream. It sounded odd to me that "the Italians" were "attacking Rome". But indeed, it looks like in the 14th and 15th century there were battles where the Italians did attack Rome. 

"The First Italian War, sometimes referred to as the Italian War of 1494 or Charles VIII's Italian War, was the opening phase of the Italian Wars. The war pitted Charles VIII of France, who had initial Milanese aid, against the Holy Roman EmpireSpain, and an alliance of Italian powers led by Pope Alexander VI." 

"In the 14th and 15th centuries, northern-central Italy was divided into a number of warring city-states, the rest of the peninsula being occupied by the larger Papal States and the Kingdom of Sicily, referred to here as Naples. Though many of these city-states were often formally subordinate to foreign rulers, as in the case of the Duchy of Milan, which was officially a constituent state of the mainly Germanic Holy Roman Empire, the city-states generally managed to maintain de facto independence from the foreign sovereigns that had seized Italian lands following the collapse of the Western Roman Empire. The strongest among these city-states gradually absorbed the surrounding territories giving birth to the Signorie, regional states often led by merchant families which founded local dynasties. War between the city-states was endemic, and primarily fought by armies of mercenaries known as condottieri, bands of soldiers drawn from around Europe, especially Germany and Switzerland, led largely by Italian captains.[51] Decades of fighting eventually saw Florence, Milan and Venice emerged as the dominant players that agreed to the Peace of Lodi in 1454, which saw relative calm brought to the region for the first time in centuries. This peace would hold for the next forty years."

I find it intriguing there was some similarity between these two lives even though my personality traits seemed quite different from each other. Time will tell if any other information from these two lives comes forth in the future and how they may affect my current life. This is also one of the rare occasions I've discovered my past incarnation's name. 

Saturday, 14 October 2017

Cutting karmic ties

An uneasy feeling took over my body and mind. I have been on vacation for a few days from exhausting projects and mostly enjoying my time. Today it wasn't as easy as I wanted it to be. After I went through all surfaced emotions angry and frustrated, it was time to feel my true emotions, my experience of being lost and sad. Why couldn't I already be at a point in my life, where I could serve humanity as the Seer that I experience myself as? I had offered a mediumship service the day before and conveyed multiple messages from the spirit world. But this experience of incompleteness existed still, because I couldn't do it for a living. 

Every now and then I took a deep breath, because the spirits reminded me to do so. As I became in contact with my feeling of being lost, I also found the question that I wanted to ask in that state: Who am I? Who am I now? What is the point in my life that I'm living currently and how would the spirits word it out for me?

My frustration didn't get away totally, so what I did was that I listened to a clip from a lovely Seer Niina-Matilda's book to be released. I listened to her soothing voice and comforting words and also found them meaningful in my curren life situation. Niina-Matilda was not the first person to tell me that it was in my soul's plan to become a healer in this life. If I'd let myself choose so, my position would be at least pointing out where the sickness was in the body, that's how she worded it, which a few months later actually did lead me to find out I could find the connection with the illness between our different energetic bodies in relation to the physical one.

I got a bit carried away there, but anyway - I got half way through the clip, when my whole day last desire to create new thoughts through doing something concrete took over. I searched and found some deep, new music (it was important that it was new to me) to listen to and I quite spontaneously decided to make a spirit journey. I asked for protection to my journey. I was asked by the spirits what I wanted and I said I wanted to clean my soul, my energy and find more about myself and what was creating me feeling like was being stuck.

This week for a couple of days the spirits gave me signs that my sacral chakra was working overactive. I didn't want to believe it (as an unfinished human being over-anything makes me feel ashamed), but the signs were clear. One of the signs was that a pimple appeared right on the back of my spine, where sacral chakra is located. "Oh boy, here we go" I thought. A few days later I suffered from very uncomfortable stomach cramps. I usually never had those during my menstrual cycle and later I discovered that my whole period was not doing it's normal thing. Next day I wake up not that well rested. I tried to ask for the spirits to help me, but I also was battling with the inner-knowing that all this was going to be a lesson experience. I had also noticed that in the end I had picked by my body's guidance-- foods that contained iron like liverwurst and spinach-- which could've suggested I had also problems with my root chakra.

My spirit journey started from a cave. Usually during these journeys, I've had to go to the cave first and when I've searched for answers inside it, I've only found my own fear reflecting from the astral and spirit world. It has never felt an easy journey until now. This time I was already in there and I decided to find my way to a scenery of a night sky, somewhere in Africa from the ceiling of the cave. The starry scenery was very pure and clear and the ground was lit vaguely by an unknown source of light. The ground was covered with tile red dust. I sensed and saw glimpses of few animals around me.

I had a hunch this was a new platform for my on-going and future journeys in the spirit world. An eagle flew over to me, holding some sort of vessel filled with yellow liquid that felt bad for health in it's claws. I knew the liquid had something to do with fat and organic functions near the liver, possibly affecting the spleen. "What am I supposed to do with that?" I thought. The scenery changed. I know I now was situated somewhere in the human world. I see a man collapsing against the kitchen counter while his wife rushes over to him. He's having a seizure and is about to die. Because I'm taken there to see it, I instantly reason to myself that I must be there to heal this man as a spirit. I take the vessel now looking like a glass jar from the eagle's claws and I rush to find a way to clear it. I throw away the yellow substance to a basket (I thought that it would've done ill to throw the man's sickness to the ground representing our Mother Earth) and find a river where to clear the jar. When the jar is dry and empty I find that it's not clean and that clear water wasn't enough to clean it. I find a cauldron and boil some hot water. Finally I'm done with the cleaning. I'm constantly reminded by the spirits that I should not rush as I could not think clearly. At the same time I could feel time fleeing and the man getting closer to his death. I fill the jar with fresh water. When I'm rushing back to the scenery where the man is dying, the spirits tell me there is no point to rush as a healer, because then no remedy would be as effective as it should. Every step of the way was important energy to complete the healing efficiently. I understand that I have been clearing the man's organs energetically to help him recover from the seizure before it's too late.

Fearsome images merge from the man's body confronting me as I reach the kitchen and in a few moments I understand the images represented the fear of the ego leaving the material world and vanishing. For a moment they were also mirroring my own fears in the situation of getting turned down from my help. I manage to hand over the jar with fresh water 'to him'.

In no time I see the man's spirit separate from the body and staring to my eyes. He's smiling knowingly. I now understood he wanted to leave the body, it was his decision all along. My efforts to help him were in vain. Now he wasn't the one in need of healing: I was his student in the situation. I could not heal someone not needing nor wanting help. I understood same thing would go down with everyone I ever decided to provide spiritual guidance to.

The scenery changes. I'm taken to a grassy field. I'm a woman in a vaguely historical garment standing next to a forest alone. Suddenly I feel hands grabbing me from my back and his lips touching my ear in lust. His closeness and his words that I couldn't hear felt sickening. I shake away from his grip and tell him to leave me. I walk away a few dozen meters from the forest and let myself fall on my knees to wonder what had just happened. I felt strong confusion going inside of me. In no time while still wondering I find that same man returning to me, now taken over by his decision to rape this female body of mine in that past life. In the end the man probably leaves, I'm not sure. But I feel the woman's confusion has no end and because it has no end it feels pestering. She asked "Why I wasn't given the opportunity to love the one that entered my body?" I ask what I should learn from this and I'm given a red rose as a symbol with clairknowing of it's message: It would do good to let myself love free when it comes to romantic feelings. I understood that I had been craving for love and closeness for myself that I hadn't dared to ask. That it wasn't only my romantic partner's choice to love or want me.

 I know that sex creates a karmic bond, even if it didn't happen from love. I then asked from the spirits about what I should do. I seeked the energy of the man that raped my past self and let my past self do the work. My present-self felt now confused too, because of the need I felt my past-self had, but I did it anyway. I kissed the man on his lips gently and then gave him a hug. That was my forgiveness and acceptance of an apology from him in advance, even if I never felt him say he was sorry. I knew he couldn't say that, because he didn't know better yet. That energy felt child like, emptied from the darkness it held inside, harmless at that present moment, so little left of what he was. Then I sent him away the same path in the woods he had popped into my past self's life. I watched his back as he walked farther and farther away. It took a good moment. When he was at the end of the visible path it started to look like he couldn't go any further without me interfering. I pushed him out of sight with my mind.

I had to open my eyes, because I heard falling on my table. Earlier I had been squeezing an orange pen in my palm, but I had opened my hands during my journey a good while earlier. The item fallen on the table in front of me was that particular orange pen. The color orange represented the color of y sacral chakra. I knew the situation had been sealed for good and that pen also underscored it as a sign.

Next up the spirits took me to a place that felt like a spiritual school. I was walking around in orange trousers with yellow robes and a headpiece with maybe accents of red. The clothing reminded me very much of something I had seen before somewhere in the media. It had elements that reminded me of Russian, Turkish and Indian way of dressing in maybe ancient carvings and art. Because I didn't recognize it, it bothered me a bit, but I let it go. I meet a spirit of a female who has a very adviser type of touch to her energy. She gives me a symbolic tool to my future romantic relationships. It's a brush for washing my partner's back with love. The symbol of love, tenderness and forgiveness (which cleans away any harsh history between us) and at the other end of the brush there were scissors for cutting the karmic bond between us once and for a all.

I find myself back again at the African plains under the starry sky. I have only vague impressions of the discussion I had with the spirits in this last part, but I remember having the clairknowing sensation that the problem with my sacral chakra was now fixed from at least one area. I could feel it had had an effect on my solar plexus too. I asked if I needed to know nothing more for today, the answer was no.

 It keeps amazing me how simple it is to heal past lives during meditation. This was the first time I feel I have forgiven someone from a past life as efficiently. I'm awaiting changes to my physical and mental health during the next few days. Right now I feel... relieved. I believe and assume this past life healing was linked to the series of other feminine healing I've been confronting for a couple of years now.

Ironically right after I was done and came back to social media I bumped into this gif-picture saying: "When you say goodnight to your date and let out a fart you've been holding in all night". That might emphasize the problem I had been holding to from my past life energywise...

Spirits and their humor!

In the end, I wasn't given a straight answer to why I can't fulfill my mission in the spiritual area of life, but this definitely gave me more wisdom about listening to the signs of my body and some meaningful things about healing... Time will show.

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Frederick of Denmark, the prince-bishop

I think found out another past life identity of mine. The interesting story goes here:
So I've been working on a final year project in our Spiritualist association's mediuism course. I of course chose past lives as my subject (my passion). I felt uneasy about the project even though giving past life readings and spirit world's guidance connected to them is something I've been doing for a couple of years for people. I thought that making the project was kind of all for nothing, because I wasn't sure if people would be you know-- interested in reading the whole story and all the readings I did for it, even if we found some kind of proof for each case. In the end I found my motivation to write the whole thing and collect the past life pieces from people by making them the readings. Finally, I had to make a choice if I would've wanted to make a reading for myself as well, because I did those readings for the whole class, even teachers.
I've read my past lives a few times for myself earlier, but I never expected so much anxiety to surface so soon after making the reading with this one. I saw myself as a man in red robes in the 16th century, visiting Estonia. I got confused, because the clothes reminded me strongly of those of a bishop. I didn’t feel this past life identity was particularly religious, like I would’ve presumed a bishop would’ve been. I was also very rich, so I could do some things as I pleased. I had a pet tortoise. I thought it looked silly while eating. I imagined how people would look like if they ate the same way. One of those things was that I hired a woman to come into my tent every day during my visit and I would examine her naked body without touching her. I was a scientific mind with a philosophical side. I had a theory, that the person's true essence and soul lived in the hard parts under our skin. In the reading I felt it was kind of twisted, even if it wasn't really sexual. But the woman didn't know it wasn't sexual, she felt harassed and her social status was threatened. I could feel also the woman's emotions there and I just felt so ashamed of my doings in that past life. I have a guess that this shame was created in my LBL-state after this life experience. Because of certain hurt in the intimacy I decided I wouldn't publish this past life story at all at first.
Later I tried to make myself another reading. I thought "one more time"-- if it wouldn't work out, I would just drop the whole idea. Oh well. I was very tired when I started doing the reading and I felt unsure if I should make it in such state at all. But then I could feel in a glimpse my body become energized. An unknown male spirit had walked into my aura. I gave it a go. The first impressions were symbolic which for me meant I was connecting with a spirit, that spirit.
I was was compared to "the Little Prince" very clearly and I had a strong image of a Medieval sword. Then I had an image of how I looked. I had dark blond color and polka cut in my hair and a moustache. So my first reaction was: "Is this my ego talking?" I tried my best, but I was given only royal images and impressions in my mind. That’s when I got frustrated. It was a good choice to take the pendulum in use, so the spirit could tell me clear answers 'yes' and 'no' to what I was asking. I checked from the spirit if I had had my facts right. I was told with the mixture of visions and the answers of the pendulum that I was a Danish prince, born in the beginning of the 16th century. Soon I understood that I was actually not making another reading for myself, but I was reading the very same past life I had been reading a few days earlier with the rich man in red robes. I asked if my name started with an E as I'm very fond of such names and I've had those recur in many lives. The answer was no.
The next sceneries shown from that life was my past self as a young teenage boy. I was not allowed to do many things. I had a small room with a double bed. It was dim-lit. I was given the expression the room felt like a prison and the size of it was making me anxious all the time. I had more energy than I was allowed to use, so I made stupid things and became aggressive-- like animals put in too small cages. I eavesdropped many times the adults in the castle(?), overheard political conversations, but of course I didn't understand everything about them. I was shown that I got one or more times caught in action, so I was punished by a male person into my teenage years. I believe the punishment happened with some sort of small whip. The damaging part of the whole situation was that my pants were partially removed and all this happened in a very sensitive age. I felt that because of experiences like this I became a sexually repressed asexual. I also believe this lead me to be very interested in anatomy.
I also had other impressions of things I had experienced. I saw a wooden box that I opened even if I shouldn't have. I'm not sure if I quite understood it correct, but I found name shields without any names engraved that were meant for some royal graves that had no bodies yet and finding them was a bad thing for some reason. Also there was a glimpse of a man with a certain type of historical hat (don’t know what to call it, but sewn from many pieces and doesn’t have a brim really) and that he had a female I knew somehow killed because she crossed him. I knew he wasn’t my father, more like an uncle and that he was very powerful.
I asked if I had killed anyone. The spirit declined to answer for the time being. I asked if my sister from this life was a sister of mine in that past life and the answer was yes. I asked if my father was a family member in that past life and the spirit declined to answer for the time being. I asked if I had died from murder. The answer was no. I asked if it was sickness that took me and the answer was yes.
At this point I didn’t feel as anxious anymore as in the beginning of weather I had only been listening to my ego with the reading. The spirit’s presence was very strong and firm and this spirit helped me not to quit the whole session before I was finished with it (I was allowed to do so though, we always have freedom to choose in the spirit perspective who come from the light). I knew it was important to gain enough information before I would google if any knowledge I had in my possession was true. So I give here once more a little thank you for the spirit who acted as my teacher through this reading. He acted very kindly and patient with me. Last I asked from the spirit if it would be ok to start already googling. It was ok.
Soon I found out that indeed there existed a monarchy in Denmark at that certain time period. I scrolled through the list of portraits of kings that ruled in Denmark around the first decades of the 16th century. A few of them looked familiar to me, but one portrait called to me and I already felt like I had known him in some way. It was Frederick the I. After that I found that only his youngest son was called primarily a prince in the article and actually a prince-bishop (the others were called dukes as that seemed to be the equivalent for the prince in Denmark at that time) ! More precisely this prince-bishop’s name was Frederick of Denmark. I never knew such position even existed. Suddenly even the tent’s colors in the first part of the reading did make sense as white and red were the colors of the Danish flag. I googled if bishops at that point in history used red robes in Denmark and it is true that they did. There doesn’t exist a picture or a portrait of my past self, nor there exists much specific information about his life. However, the Danish Wikipedia article seems to state (I almost missed this) that Frederick of Denmark was “half a scholar” when put to the position as a bishop because of a political situation. Also remember I said I didn’t feel the most devoted person for religion in those bishop robes? I found another small phrase that states Frederick of Denmark didn’t have canonical qualification to be a bishop. I somehow feel confident about this past life, for me the experience was true. The puzzle pieces click with each other somehow.
The only thing that confuses me is the one I saw a powerful man with that certain type of hat without a clear brim. I found out that at that exact time period in Denmark, such hat was used by a half brother of prince-bishop Frederick of Denmark. But I felt that the man with the hat had been an uncle. For me it was if there was some sort of conspiracies going on connected to him. Well, it seems that according to Wikipedia, Frederick’s father Frederick I was _uncle_ to Christian II (this would make him my past self’s cousin) who indeed was alive at the same time when I was a teenager and he was known to try to clear out the Swedish throne by slaughter and was very insistent about having his upbringing to take the throne, even if they weren’t next in line. Interesting stuff! In the first part of the reading the spirit’s message to me was that this past life had many important lessons in the same package. This means I am willing to do more work to sort out which kind of lessons I still have unfinished from back then. I recognized many traits from myself from this life, especially those I had as a teenager. I’m still dealing with the emotional burden package that surfaced, when I started reading this past life. It consists mostly of shame, anxiety and guilt.
I found interesting, how easy it was to communicate with that male spirit who came to guide me. I asked if he had lived in the same culture around the same time period and the answer was yes. This is a pattern I’ve noticed with spirits that come present when doing a past life reading. If they haven’t incarnated with us back then, they have experienced the same time and place in some way.
It seems that however royal I probably was, this wasn’t a very positive past life saying from the glimpses and emotions that I went through during the reading. Not much to be proud of.
Recently, I've been liveroleplaying a young prince called Lukas Opferstock (of German origin I think). Being the youngest in the family was an imporant thing for the character. The family name of Frederick of Denmark was Oldenburg. No co-incidence for me. I haven't played any royal characters before and there is next to come this fall. This character is also the little brother, and his position is very very similar to the one of a prince's. Also he is a leader of the spies. Same themes, don't you think?
At this point I'm not sure if I remembered to tell every detail I found somehow meaningful, but oh well. (Btw, don’t confuse Frederick of Denmark and Frederick I to each other. Frederick I was the king and Frederick of Denmark the prince-bishop I suspect I was in a past life.) 

Tuesday, 8 August 2017


I could've never imagined, but I've managed to come out with a publication on reincarnation which is still waiting to be finished. But it will be, I have a clear deadline. I felt so uncertain at first to start it out, even unmotivated. I thought I would leave it be and not worth sharing to any of the people at this point. But there's appeared some very interesting reincarnation stories and cases on the people I've done a reading to for this. And last but not least, I did a past life reading for myself, revealing very harsh stuff from a past life to point I thought not putting it in the paper at all. I felt shame from that past life, it's emotions kind of bursting on me. I even did a second reading for myself to place the first one with-- and it revealed to be about the very same past life the first one had been about. I found very good affirmations of who I was in that life, a small mention in history. It has already explained a lot of negativity in this lifetime.

This past life raises very hard emotions in me, it wasn't a positive past life. But I'm working on it, it must be healed. More on it sooner or later during this fall!

Saturday, 27 May 2017

A comrade: Isaiah 'Wild' Wright

I was feeling like sharing what happened to me today. I'm wishing this might help people thinking about their emotions towards different people in their lives and which emotions they are holding up to unconsciously. I've noticed that people tend to have a crush on people that they've known in the past lives, because of the possibly quite instant feeling of recognition, which confuses modern day humans more than it probably should. I have a history of having crushes all the time towards people I would unconsciously recognize. I've realized that behind it there is more to it than that and learnt to process this information flow in a way healthier way. Here's a story from a similar aspect.
I had some moments of sorrow crying over something very important from my past life today. I haven't been able to cry for a long time and I actually was just yesterday in a situation, where I wanted to be able to open up my feelings and cry. But today, for different reasons, I was finally able to do so.
I had this bushranger comrade called Wild Wright in the 19th century, who supported my gang back then in the days. I'm really not going into detail, because that I've told most of it already here before, but long story short I was Ned Kelly (I actually find this slightly irrelevant to mention, but I had this urge to tell you that Wild Wright was a GOOD GUY and deserves perhaps a little more respect).
Anyway, I finally got to know better the person who used to be Wild Wright, even though I've been aware of her identity for a year maybe. I was now left with bottled up feelings I wasn't first able to handle at all. Then I realized I felt anxiety, because I wanted to tell her what it really felt communicating with her. Because it was complicated, even for her, which she apparently noticed too. It being my imagination or not, I got worried about her own interpretation of what was going on between us. Because it was like loving a family member which kind of didn't fit with the fact that it was our first times getting to know each other. I wouldn't be able to tell her the reasons or my thoughts, because she probably doesn't understand or approve the idea of reincarnation. It bothered me, but I felt like I had no choice, so I ended up thinking all this stuff by myself I had in my mind from different point of views.
I realized I've never had those people in my life that I could defend. I've always had to protect myself out in the world and especially inside my family (there's this really rough stuff been going on for years and years that has affected me strongly). Because the feeling of needing protection from my own family, I haven't been really good at loving those people who I consider my real family (these people being most commonly friends). Now, I was in the situation, where I wanted to protect Wild Wright's incarnate for a rational (or a misjudged) point of view. It made me feel sorrow, because I wasn't able to do as I pleased. It confused me.
Then it just hit me out of the blue: I felt like I owed her so very much. And this was a huge emotion. I started to cry (hard and loud). Not because I had done bad things for her in past life, but because she had given me SO much back then. I understood that I hadn't been able to express this emotion as Ned. I cried more, because I realized that no-one would ever give anything from oneself and resources like that to another, if he hadn't considered the other as equal to a brother. At that point I had no idea what exactly happened between us in the history (after the well known bare knuckle boxing match and generally knowing he was a gang supporter after that), but this emotion and knowledge came so spontaneously and out of nowhere that I just felt I had to go by it and trust it..... And I did. Just a couple of hours later I googled everything I could find on Wild Wright and it matched so well with my experience that I'm stunned. I had strongly mistrusted my feelings, even though they felt so real.
After all that crying today I actually wasn't afraid anymore of any judgement from her if I just asked away if she was an atheist. What I now feel is that I want to be even truer to myself as I've been hiding my emotion behind ideals and protective barriers even from myself for some very, long, long time. I see and admit that I have problems to let people close to myself in this one aspect of denying my true feelings about them to a point they just bottle up. And most commonly those feelings are the positive kind. That is sad. It seems like have a strong need to get closer to these feelings and feel free once more.
Yup. I'm pretty confident I'm writing a book one day about my experiences. My life is like a big surprise party, considering all the constantly appearing possible ways sharing my story and my friends' and family's past life stories could be helping people heal PL wounds and figuring out their life purpose in the bigger picture.
Speaking of pictures, here's Isaiah Wild Wright. A good man with a bit of a wild and human side.