I think found out another past life identity of mine. The interesting story goes here:
So I've been working on a final year project in our Spiritualist association's mediuism course. I of course chose past lives as my subject (my passion). I felt uneasy about the project even though giving past life readings and spirit world's guidance connected to them is something I've been doing for a couple of years for people. I thought that making the project was kind of all for nothing, because I wasn't sure if people would be you know-- interested in reading the whole story and all the readings I did for it, even if we found some kind of proof for each case. In the end I found my motivation to write the whole thing and collect the past life pieces from people by making them the readings. Finally, I had to make a choice if I would've wanted to make a reading for myself as well, because I did those readings for the whole class, even teachers.
I've read my past lives a few times for myself earlier, but I never expected so much anxiety to surface so soon after making the reading with this one. I saw myself as a man in red robes in the 16th century, visiting Estonia. I got confused, because the clothes reminded me strongly of those of a bishop. I didn’t feel this past life identity was particularly religious, like I would’ve presumed a bishop would’ve been. I was also very rich, so I could do some things as I pleased. I had a pet tortoise. I thought it looked silly while eating. I imagined how people would look like if they ate the same way. One of those things was that I hired a woman to come into my tent every day during my visit and I would examine her naked body without touching her. I was a scientific mind with a philosophical side. I had a theory, that the person's true essence and soul lived in the hard parts under our skin. In the reading I felt it was kind of twisted, even if it wasn't really sexual. But the woman didn't know it wasn't sexual, she felt harassed and her social status was threatened. I could feel also the woman's emotions there and I just felt so ashamed of my doings in that past life. I have a guess that this shame was created in my LBL-state after this life experience. Because of certain hurt in the intimacy I decided I wouldn't publish this past life story at all at first.
Later I tried to make myself another reading. I thought "one more time"-- if it wouldn't work out, I would just drop the whole idea. Oh well. I was very tired when I started doing the reading and I felt unsure if I should make it in such state at all. But then I could feel in a glimpse my body become energized. An unknown male spirit had walked into my aura. I gave it a go. The first impressions were symbolic which for me meant I was connecting with a spirit, that spirit.
I was was compared to "the Little Prince" very clearly and I had a strong image of a Medieval sword. Then I had an image of how I looked. I had dark blond color and polka cut in my hair and a moustache. So my first reaction was: "Is this my ego talking?" I tried my best, but I was given only royal images and impressions in my mind. That’s when I got frustrated. It was a good choice to take the pendulum in use, so the spirit could tell me clear answers 'yes' and 'no' to what I was asking. I checked from the spirit if I had had my facts right. I was told with the mixture of visions and the answers of the pendulum that I was a Danish prince, born in the beginning of the 16th century. Soon I understood that I was actually not making another reading for myself, but I was reading the very same past life I had been reading a few days earlier with the rich man in red robes. I asked if my name started with an E as I'm very fond of such names and I've had those recur in many lives. The answer was no.
The next sceneries shown from that life was my past self as a young teenage boy. I was not allowed to do many things. I had a small room with a double bed. It was dim-lit. I was given the expression the room felt like a prison and the size of it was making me anxious all the time. I had more energy than I was allowed to use, so I made stupid things and became aggressive-- like animals put in too small cages. I eavesdropped many times the adults in the castle(?), overheard political conversations, but of course I didn't understand everything about them. I was shown that I got one or more times caught in action, so I was punished by a male person into my teenage years. I believe the punishment happened with some sort of small whip. The damaging part of the whole situation was that my pants were partially removed and all this happened in a very sensitive age. I felt that because of experiences like this I became a sexually repressed asexual. I also believe this lead me to be very interested in anatomy.
I also had other impressions of things I had experienced. I saw a wooden box that I opened even if I shouldn't have. I'm not sure if I quite understood it correct, but I found name shields without any names engraved that were meant for some royal graves that had no bodies yet and finding them was a bad thing for some reason. Also there was a glimpse of a man with a certain type of historical hat (don’t know what to call it, but sewn from many pieces and doesn’t have a brim really) and that he had a female I knew somehow killed because she crossed him. I knew he wasn’t my father, more like an uncle and that he was very powerful.
I asked if I had killed anyone. The spirit declined to answer for the time being. I asked if my sister from this life was a sister of mine in that past life and the answer was yes. I asked if my father was a family member in that past life and the spirit declined to answer for the time being. I asked if I had died from murder. The answer was no. I asked if it was sickness that took me and the answer was yes.
At this point I didn’t feel as anxious anymore as in the beginning of weather I had only been listening to my ego with the reading. The spirit’s presence was very strong and firm and this spirit helped me not to quit the whole session before I was finished with it (I was allowed to do so though, we always have freedom to choose in the spirit perspective who come from the light). I knew it was important to gain enough information before I would google if any knowledge I had in my possession was true. So I give here once more a little thank you for the spirit who acted as my teacher through this reading. He acted very kindly and patient with me. Last I asked from the spirit if it would be ok to start already googling. It was ok.
Soon I found out that indeed there existed a monarchy in Denmark at that certain time period. I scrolled through the list of portraits of kings that ruled in Denmark around the first decades of the 16th century. A few of them looked familiar to me, but one portrait called to me and I already felt like I had known him in some way. It was Frederick the I. After that I found that only his youngest son was called primarily a prince in the article and actually a prince-bishop (the others were called dukes as that seemed to be the equivalent for the prince in Denmark at that time) ! More precisely this prince-bishop’s name was Frederick of Denmark. I never knew such position even existed. Suddenly even the tent’s colors in the first part of the reading did make sense as white and red were the colors of the Danish flag. I googled if bishops at that point in history used red robes in Denmark and it is true that they did. There doesn’t exist a picture or a portrait of my past self, nor there exists much specific information about his life. However, the Danish Wikipedia article seems to state (I almost missed this) that Frederick of Denmark was “half a scholar” when put to the position as a bishop because of a political situation. Also remember I said I didn’t feel the most devoted person for religion in those bishop robes? I found another small phrase that states Frederick of Denmark didn’t have canonical qualification to be a bishop. I somehow feel confident about this past life, for me the experience was true. The puzzle pieces click with each other somehow.
The only thing that confuses me is the one I saw a powerful man with that certain type of hat without a clear brim. I found out that at that exact time period in Denmark, such hat was used by a half brother of prince-bishop Frederick of Denmark. But I felt that the man with the hat had been an uncle. For me it was if there was some sort of conspiracies going on connected to him. Well, it seems that according to Wikipedia, Frederick’s father Frederick I was _uncle_ to Christian II (this would make him my past self’s cousin) who indeed was alive at the same time when I was a teenager and he was known to try to clear out the Swedish throne by slaughter and was very insistent about having his upbringing to take the throne, even if they weren’t next in line. Interesting stuff! In the first part of the reading the spirit’s message to me was that this past life had many important lessons in the same package. This means I am willing to do more work to sort out which kind of lessons I still have unfinished from back then. I recognized many traits from myself from this life, especially those I had as a teenager. I’m still dealing with the emotional burden package that surfaced, when I started reading this past life. It consists mostly of shame, anxiety and guilt.
I found interesting, how easy it was to communicate with that male spirit who came to guide me. I asked if he had lived in the same culture around the same time period and the answer was yes. This is a pattern I’ve noticed with spirits that come present when doing a past life reading. If they haven’t incarnated with us back then, they have experienced the same time and place in some way.
It seems that however royal I probably was, this wasn’t a very positive past life saying from the glimpses and emotions that I went through during the reading. Not much to be proud of.
Recently, I've been liveroleplaying a young prince called Lukas Opferstock (of German origin I think). Being the youngest in the family was an imporant thing for the character. The family name of Frederick of Denmark was Oldenburg. No co-incidence for me. I haven't played any royal characters before and there is next to come this fall. This character is also the little brother, and his position is very very similar to the one of a prince's. Also he is a leader of the spies. Same themes, don't you think?
At this point I'm not sure if I remembered to tell every detail I found somehow meaningful, but oh well. (Btw, don’t confuse Frederick of Denmark and Frederick I to each other. Frederick I was the king and Frederick of Denmark the prince-bishop I suspect I was in a past life.)