Was JK Rowling Charles Dickens?

A certain page dedicated to the reincarnation phenomenon suggests that JK Rowling was Charles Dickens in her past life. Now-a-days this information seems to have been deleted and found only in Walter Semkiw's book. I find the reincarnation case plausible. When I was a child, 9 years old, I got the first touch of the Harry Potter book series just before the first film was released in 2001. I remember myself getting thoroughly confused, when all of a sudden there was mentioned sneakers (or similar footwear). That was because I had imagined it all happened in the 19th century and that's when I realized it was not how it was meant. I believe I had not seen the film trailer at that point yet as it was a grave disappointment for me to have imagined the character Draco while reading the first book a certain way and then seeing how his looks were supposed to be in the film on some of the film merchandise's packages at the toy section of a store. Also in 2001 the Victorian era fashion and history wasn't a _thing_ for the kids of my age (and I believe it wasn't a thing in Finland at all yet at that point.) Any thought of history as a concept around that age gave me a very unpleasant picture in my mind of a stout mean woman wearing a headscarf, all in black and white. Regarding all of this and other things I experienced as a kid I feel and believe I was already sensitive to energies and past life triggers. What I do these days is past life reading in the communication of the spirit world. Gosh I feel so tempted to ask my guides more about this subject. I've for a long time had an assumption I was a French woman at that time who was into fiction, especially The Three Musketeers (this subject of fascination might have also been created in one of the later incarnations) and trying her wings in creative writing. I'm really an intensive fan in my own way. I absolutely love the atmosphere that isn't strictly constructed from our modern day (muggle) society. What do you think about the Rowling vs Dickens comparison? I find it immensely intriguing.

Frederick of Denmark, the prince-bishop

I think found out another past life identity of mine. The interesting story goes here:

So I've been working on a final year project in our Spiritualist association's mediuism course. I of course chose past lives as my subject (my passion). I felt uneasy about the project even though giving past life readings and spirit world's guidance connected to them is something I've been doing for a couple of years for people. I thought that making the project was kind of all for nothing, because I wasn't sure if people would be you know-- interested in reading the whole story and all the readings I did for it, even if we found some kind of proof for each case. In the end I found my motivation to write the whole thing and collect the past life pieces from people by making them the readings. Finally, I had to make a choice if I would've wanted to make a reading for myself as well, because I did those readings for the whole class, even teachers.

I've read my past lives a few times for myself earlier, but I never expected so much anxiety to surface so soon after making the reading with this one. I saw myself as a man in red robes in the 16th century, visiting Estonia. I got confused, because the clothes reminded me strongly of those of a bishop. I didn’t feel this past life identity was particularly religious, like I would’ve presumed a bishop would’ve been. I was also very rich, so I could do some things as I pleased. I had a pet tortoise. I thought it looked silly while eating. I imagined how people would look like if they ate the same way. One of those things was that I hired a woman to come into my tent every day during my visit and I would examine her naked body without touching her. I was a scientific mind with a philosophical side. I had a theory, that the person's true essence and soul lived in the hard parts under our skin. In the reading I felt it was kind of twisted, even if it wasn't really sexual. But the woman didn't know it wasn't sexual, she felt harassed and her social status was threatened. I could feel also the woman's emotions there and I just felt so ashamed of my doings in that past life. I have a guess that this shame was created in my LBL-state after this life experience. Because of certain hurt in the intimacy I decided I wouldn't publish this past life story at all at first.

Later I tried to make myself another reading. I thought "one more time"-- if it wouldn't work out, I would just drop the whole idea. Oh well. I was very tired when I started doing the reading and I felt unsure if I should make it in such state at all. But then I could feel in a glimpse my body become energized. An unknown male spirit had walked into my aura. I gave it a go. The first impressions were symbolic which for me meant I was connecting with a spirit, that spirit.

I was was compared to "the Little Prince" very clearly and I had a strong image of a Medieval sword. Then I had an image of how I looked. I had dark blond color and polka cut in my hair and a moustache. So my first reaction was: "Is this my ego talking?" I tried my best, but I was given only royal images and impressions in my mind. That’s when I got frustrated. It was a good choice to take the pendulum in use, so the spirit could tell me clear answers 'yes' and 'no' to what I was asking. I checked from the spirit if I had had my facts right. I was told with the mixture of visions and the answers of the pendulum that I was a Danish prince, born in the beginning of the 16th century. Soon I understood that I was actually not making another reading for myself, but I was reading the very same past life I had been reading a few days earlier with the rich man in red robes. I asked if my name started with an E as I'm very fond of such names and I've had those recur in many lives. The answer was no.

The next sceneries shown from that life was my past self as a young teenage boy. I was not allowed to do many things. I had a small room with a double bed. It was dim-lit. I was given the expression the room felt like a prison and the size of it was making me anxious all the time. I had more energy than I was allowed to use, so I made stupid things and became aggressive-- like animals put in too small cages. I eavesdropped many times the adults in the castle(?), overheard political conversations, but of course I didn't understand everything about them. I was shown that I got one or more times caught in action, so I was punished by a male person into my teenage years. I believe the punishment happened with some sort of small whip. The damaging part of the whole situation was that my pants were partially removed and all this happened in a very sensitive age. I felt that because of experiences like this I became a sexually repressed asexual. I also believe this lead me to be very interested in anatomy.

I also had other impressions of things I had experienced. I saw a wooden box that I opened even if I shouldn't have. I'm not sure if I quite understood it correct, but I found name shields without any names engraved that were meant for some royal graves that had no bodies yet and finding them was a bad thing for some reason. Also there was a glimpse of a man with a certain type of historical hat (don’t know what to call it, but sewn from many pieces and doesn’t have a brim really) and that he had a female I knew somehow killed because she crossed him. I knew he wasn’t my father, more like an uncle and that he was very powerful.

I asked if I had killed anyone. The spirit declined to answer for the time being. I asked if my sister from this life was a sister of mine in that past life and the answer was yes. I asked if my father was a family member in that past life and the spirit declined to answer for the time being. I asked if I had died from murder. The answer was no. I asked if it was sickness that took me and the answer was yes.

At this point I didn’t feel as anxious anymore as in the beginning of weather I had only been listening to my ego with the reading. The spirit’s presence was very strong and firm and this spirit helped me not to quit the whole session before I was finished with it (I was allowed to do so though, we always have freedom to choose in the spirit perspective who come from the light). I knew it was important to gain enough information before I would google if any knowledge I had in my possession was true. So I give here once more a little thank you for the spirit who acted as my teacher through this reading. He acted very kindly and patient with me. Last I asked from the spirit if it would be ok to start already googling. It was ok.

Soon I found out that indeed there existed a monarchy in Denmark at that certain time period. I scrolled through the list of portraits of kings that ruled in Denmark around the first decades of the 16th century. A few of them looked familiar to me, but one portrait called to me and I already felt like I had known him in some way. It was Frederick the I. After that I found that only his youngest son was called primarily a prince in the article and actually a prince-bishop (the others were called dukes as that seemed to be the equivalent for the prince in Denmark at that time) ! More precisely this prince-bishop’s name was Frederick of Denmark. I never knew such position even existed. Suddenly even the tent’s colors in the first part of the reading did make sense as white and red were the colors of the Danish flag. I googled if bishops at that point in history used red robes in Denmark and it is true that they did. There doesn’t exist a picture or a portrait of my past self, nor there exists much specific information about his life. However, the Danish Wikipedia article seems to state (I almost missed this) that Frederick of Denmark was “half a scholar” when put to the position as a bishop because of a political situation. Also remember I said I didn’t feel the most devoted person for religion in those bishop robes? I found another small phrase that states Frederick of Denmark didn’t have canonical qualification to be a bishop. I somehow feel confident about this past life, for me the experience was true. The puzzle pieces click with each other somehow.

The only thing that confuses me is the one I saw a powerful man with that certain type of hat without a clear brim. I found out that at that exact time period in Denmark, such hat was used by a half brother of prince-bishop Frederick of Denmark. But I felt that the man with the hat had been an uncle. For me it was if there was some sort of conspiracies going on connected to him. Well, it seems that according to Wikipedia, Frederick’s father Frederick I was _uncle_ to Christian II (this would make him my past self’s cousin) who indeed was alive at the same time when I was a teenager and he was known to try to clear out the Swedish throne by slaughter and was very insistent about having his upbringing to take the throne, even if they weren’t next in line. Interesting stuff! In the first part of the reading the spirit’s message to me was that this past life had many important lessons in the same package. This means I am willing to do more work to sort out which kind of lessons I still have unfinished from back then. I recognized many traits from myself from this life, especially those I had as a teenager. I’m still dealing with the emotional burden package that surfaced, when I started reading this past life. It consists mostly of shame, anxiety and guilt.

I found interesting, how easy it was to communicate with that male spirit who came to guide me. I asked if he had lived in the same culture around the same time period and the answer was yes. This is a pattern I’ve noticed with spirits that come present when doing a past life reading. If they haven’t incarnated with us back then, they have experienced the same time and place in some way.

It seems that however royal I probably was, this wasn’t a very positive past life saying from the glimpses and emotions that I went through during the reading. Not much to be proud of.

Recently, I've been liveroleplaying a young prince called Lukas Opferstock (of German origin I think). Being the youngest in the family was an imporant thing for the character. The family name of Frederick of Denmark was Oldenburg. No co-incidence for me. I haven't played any royal characters before and there is next to come this fall. This character is also the little brother, and his position is very very similar to the one of a prince's. Also he is a leader of the spies. Same themes, don't you think?

At this point I'm not sure if I remembered to tell every detail I found somehow meaningful, but oh well. (Btw, don’t confuse Frederick of Denmark and Frederick I to each other. Frederick I was the king and Frederick of Denmark the prince-bishop I suspect I was in a past life.) 

Frederick of Denmark

The Grounding School

I have still a Ned Kelly (and Ellen Kelly) themed past life dream waiting in line to be published, but especially ever since the events that I unfolded in my last blog post, my concentration has been strongly guided elsewhere.

The theme in my life right now is grounding. I came very ill a couple of days ago. Now my other symptoms are pretty much gone, but my voice is completely lost, I'm basically mute. I haven't had such thing in my life. I pondered and researched the reasons for all of this actively-- grounding did come to my mind too, but only after I let go of trying, silenced my mind and slowed down my pace of living, my spirit guide was willing to tell me what this muteness was serving.

Before exposing the basic reason, they told me to just let myself be sick and not change the situation drastically. Anyway I did ask for help for my somewhat grave breathing problems I woke up to this morning and they actually instantly enlarged my airways as I felt I had been almost suffocating. They've given me a lot of help with taming the other symptoms as well, but the muteness remains. Basically, what they did, was that they stopped me and then didn't "let" me speed up my pace to what it's been for so many years. This gives so much more space for me to silence myself and do the grounding I so much needed.

I don't only feel, I know for a fact, that the vision of my Native American past life activated this phase in my life. I could never imagine that I would be able to inquire these steps of wisdom at this stage on my spiritual path. The serious part in my grounding school has started.

If you read my last blog post, you will understand a piece of the importance of the wisdom about grounding oneself and the connection to our Mother Earth. I always overlooked the whole idea of what grounding truly means. If you're doing it also-- consciously or not -- I assure you, I will some day teach this for people around me. I'm in hopes I'll find a spot to write about it here in my blog too, more in depth.

This is a past life themed blog primarily, but as you notice (if you read the last post), all of this just yielded from a spontaneous past life vision. Such can be the power of spiritual living in past lives. It is in my soul mission to relearn all of this. All types of past life experiences can rush all the way from our unconsciousness to our conscious mind, providing amazing wisdom and resources of an extensive variety to provide help on our spiritual path (and of others').

My latest incarnation: Rebel of the 80's

I don't remember how long time ago I unlocked some memories from this life, but they are the most vivid ones I've had of any of my past lives.

I was born in United States in an urban, probably big city to a white couple, who divorced when I was young. I was left alone with my mother. I've met two people in this life who remind me a lot of this past life mother. She loved smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol beverages, polishing her nails, gossiping and not caring too much about being the mother to me I needed. Also I believe my mother wasn't very intelligent. My father left my mother completely alone with me, so I didn't really see him when I grew older. When it was time to plan getting to a proper school after primary school, we went to see the headmaster of this one place I think me and especially my mother liked. What he did was to laugh at us-- laugh at me. I would never get in. We were poor and my grades weren't that amazing. He pointed out we were in a status that would promise no good luck in life. I had no future, really. 

As a result, I thought it wasn't useful being in school. I got friends who were "little criminals". I got into smoking (not sure about this, but probably), drinking and I think I tried some drugs too sometimes. I skipped so many classes I think I was most of the time elsewhere but school. 

In that life I was short. I had dark hair and a fit body. I used a lot of jeans and tank tops. I also got myself a leather jacket type of thing. Not sure if it was real leather though. 

I got myself a long term boyfriend who I broke up with many times. I remember he had long dark hair, a black leather jacket, almost always a pair of combat boots and he listened to rock music. We were both quite stubborn and fiery, but also very passionate. I became very much like him in certain aspects. 

I think that at first I tried at the school I was in. But then I stopped caring. It had been a real turning point when the other school's principal laughed at me and my mother... 

My mom's and my rental flat was placed in a building that was shaped similarly to the famous Flatiron Building in New York, but it had only two or three floors I think. Downstairs there was a tobacco store. The store's keeper who was part Indian was my mom's friend, but he really hated me. I remember seeing them chatting with each other so many times together both leaned over the same desk. I felt they both hated and repelled me from there just with their mean glances over me. I thought they could've just gotten a room together. They seemed to fit well enough with each other at least and enjoyed each other's company. 

Our apartment was more or less dirty. It had two small bedrooms, a living room of the same size and an open small kitchen combined with it. We had a cat whose caring we both argued about and quite roughly we did. At least sometimes I called that cat "Snuggles" (that name JUST came in my mind out of the blue). I think he had long hair and was white-ish in color. What really disgusted me was our refrigerator. It probably used to be white when it was bought, but now it was all yellow and sticky from the outside (I learnt after describing this to my friend that this is what happens when one smokes inside a lot, all surfaces get like that). We had very difficult fights with my mother, so I ended up leaving / running away from home. She disliked heavily my friends and my boyfriend, but it was easy to choose them over her. They seemed to care about me more than my mom. I spent more time at my friends' apartments and homes and I think there were a few nights I lived on the streets with no real shelter, hiding away from strangers who could harm me. 

I speculate by intuition that I got into Christianity around these times. I really wanted to help and be kind for those less fortunate but me. Living on the streets, using all their belongings to just buy some drugs. I tried to find my best ways to help them if I could. I really pitied their destinies. The cops on the other hand I feared and hated. But mostly, it was fear. They were so skeptic about my kind that they would try to catch us even if we hadn't done anything wrong. I have a strong feeling they did bad things to us, like hitting with batons at times with no real reason, not to mention name-calling type of speech and intimidating in various ways.

One night when I had broken up again with my boyfriend, I was spending an evening "partying" or just generally "out". Anyway, I met a man probably slightly older than me. Somehow he became very very quickly my new boyfriend. He seemed slightly eccentric, but was very kind and sympathetic and offered me right away a place to stay after he heard I had no place to go. This was a mistake. 

I didn't realize this man had Asperger's, which influenced his thoughts and actions. I remember myself sitting at a table in the kitchen area and there was a morning paper nearby, me doing something more or less practical and mundane. It was one of the first days at his place, maybe even the first one. I cared for him, but I knew I wouldn't love him. It was already clear for me we wouldn't ever get married, so I felt a little guilty. What I really needed from him was the shelter of his apartment and maybe some things like food etc. He seemed very excited about our situation and it was obvious for him that now was the time and place to have sex for the first time. For me it neither wasn't and was at the same time. I wasn't really sure if I really cared for sex at that moment with him, but thought that whatever. I wanted to keep that apartment for a while at least. I thought he kind of maybe deserved it and I sensed unconsciously he had a bad temper, even a shorter one than my ex had and in a weird way.

 Then he removed his clothing and climbed into his bed naked which was a loft bed. I was slowly ending my doings, whatever they were. When I wasn't removing my clothes right away and rushing, he said in an icy/irritated tone "Yeah, you know, I'm waiting..." I climb on his body still my clothes on and start to strip my shirt off. At the same time I ask if he has a condom. It appears he has none. Suddenly he suggests we should have a baby. I get frustrated, he sounds sad and we almost start a fight. I state I won't have sex with him unless he has a condom. I leave the apartment to search for one, but all I have in mind is to ask if the neighbors had any, I know none of them well enough. It starts to feel like a bad idea and I start to pity my "boyfriend". I really didn't want to fight with him. I deny myself of thinking about baby-making, I return to the apartment. I tell him "Ok, let's fuck".

My next memory is from couple of days later. We've had sex a couple of times. For the second time I had a condom from somewhere. I'm panicking in my mind if I had become pregnant. I didn't want to have a baby yet and not with him. I'm going through all options of emergency contraceptives in my head. At this point this boyfriend is all excited about getting a baby. I'm getting less and less interested about the shitstorm it would raise if I got myself an abort. The guy is kissing my belly and talking to it, when I still don't have any mound formed yet.

It becomes harder and harder to order a visit to the gynecologist and it starts to feel like an easier option just to have the baby. I believe all of this was because of the guilt towards that boyfriend of mine and the fact that I was using him to my advantage. This boyfriend was also the stalker type slightly... I could feel it.

A tad later (in this life) I had a vision of what happened between my death and the pregnancy. I left this boyfriend, but he kept disturbing my life in different ways. I returned to my on-off-boyfriend and at least was in friendly relations with him. When he discovered all of what had happened to me, he was furious! When he met the guy who had gotten me pregnant, he hit him and kicked him with his iron toed combat boots to the stomach. I was there. I tried to persuade him to leave it be and tried to confirm that the man didn't deserve it. I was really terrified about it. 

The last scene I remember from this life is me being again together with this on-off-boyfriend. We are having a terrible fight in a parking house. He's drunk and very aggressive. We are repeatedly hitting each other or touching each other violently. Last thing I remember is him pushing me. I loose my balance and I feel myself falling. I hit my head really bad on the ground. I see an ambulance. I die probably on my way to the hospital. That's the last thing I'm shown of these memories recorded.

This life I've acknowledged for a while already has lately come up to my mind more often. It has offered me explanations to a few childhood/youth memories from this life. When I was real young, about 9 years old, I started to write a book. I remember there were two gangs. The others were called "The rats" and they bullied the other gang, who were merely a group of friends. I really desperately wish I could some day find this start of book at some point and reread what I wrote. I remember it was very well written for a girl of that age! I have a feeling it described my past life around the 80's. My second memory comes from time I was 13. I had had an on-off crush for the cutest boy in my class. He had these brown eyes that were always my downfall. But he had a blond hair, not dark. He treated me unfairly and one time he hit me really bad on the back, bullied me too. Such things made me really prejudiced about him. Even though his style was nothing like it, one day I expressed my frustration: "So don't you want to listen to rock music, smoke cigarettes, wear leather coats and drink heavy?" The boy I had a crush on was nothing like it, really, but all of a sudden I had that image about him. I don't know why, but I thought it was a bad thing doing all that. Sinful even. That description would've fit my past life boyfriend. The third one is not a memory really. I had a manner to put my school pack or my jacket or about anything laying on my lap so it would  lean to my stomach when sitting. It made me feel safe and comfortable. People sometimes asked me why I did it. I hadn't realized it was that weird. Now I think I know the answer to this. It was not only because I thought that in this life my belly was fat. My past life self still wanted to cover in school that she was pregnant, even though in this life I haven't been pregnant or anything close to it. 

I also have a dream with hazy things that would really strongly refer to this past life. In the same dream I was doing something at the doctor for a "sister" (I had no sister!) The doctor was dark skinned, handsome and aged +40. He gave a coloring book to me so I would give it to my "sister". He had a feeling I might not give it or remember to give it, so he wrote my sisters name on the cover (which I don't remember). Also my mother had discovered the doctor was related to Michael Jordan and a "famous violinist" and she was really hunting him to be a husband debutante. For that reason I called him something similar to "doctor pal" not "sir" or "doctor" which created a very icy and awkward atmosphere. That wasn't my intention. I sounded rude. He kind of disliked me and felt uncomfortable around me, I could tell. Later in the dream there was an audition for a Broadway type of a Grease (in my current life I haven't really cared for Grease at all) prequel or something. It was a new version of it anyway on stage. Most of the main characters were placed with dark skinned actors which in the dream thought was slightly weird. Also I was in a big store or a mall. An older light haired man stole or bought me secretly tobaccos and I was grateful but I didn't know why he was so kind to me. I also laughed at a department of Christmas stuff that was really, really messy in the store.

All of this is so vivid that I'm sure I could find many more things about this past life through past life regression, which I have done none on this consciously. Most of it has come through visions, dreams and one past life tarot card reading I did on myself. Sometimes I wonder if this past life mother of mine still lives. Or that on-off-boyfriend. Anyway, I know the lesson of saying no to uncomfortable situations with romantic relationships that were created for the wrong reasons have been sorted out mostly already during this life. It gives a lot of comfort to understand why my last relationship was such a mess.

I've also noticed that dying so young and a rebel has affected this life more than I have wanted to understand at first. It comforts me to understand my past problems with school and authorities and even my peers at school had solid roots from not so long ago. I've also speculated that my memory/attention problems in this life might be linked to that pas life and also that head trauma. I'm sure I'm going to find out if it it's true. For now, I'm satisfied with discovering more about this life. I find it very interesting considering the lessons I was going through. I'm sure in that life I also was settling some of my lessons from my past life as Ned Kelly. Too many congruent aspects to ignore.

The son of fathers

This Friday night I was at a point of complete frustration about getting rusty in my mediumship abilities. I knew I was the one causing the block primarily. I had achieved to convey messages that morning as I was supposed to, but I had to use oracle cards to achieve a working connection with the spirits. It took a serious effort from me. So around midnight I grabbed the oracle cards once more, asking from the spirits what was going on with my abilities blocking/what could help me out getting them to work with me again.

To my surprise the spirits raised my educational issues as the main topic. I haven't yet been able to myself a job that would suit my emotional resources and what I'm good at. Also for my astonishment, they suggested that I had daddy issues from a past life that was affecting all of this and that I had been both too careful and incautious about something. Also my addictions for unhealthy relationships were still affecting me... The last thing of these was not being anything new.

I proceeded with my reading. The spirit world suggested small steps to regain the spirit world's trust in both directions: Mine and their's. They recommended for me to take the present situation as a learning experience. Another thing they said was to come in terms with my male and female sides of personality and my past life experiences.

It was so comforting to hear these words from the spirit world. There were some things I had been aware of previously, such as taking my held back spirit connection as a learning experience, to look it through somehow and that my mother issues were connected strongly with the addictions-card blocking some of my spiritual gifts.

I've never considered myself having any grand daddy issues in this life, so I first excluded completely the possibility of my current father's connections to it (oh boy I was mildly wrong there). It bugged me I couldn't get the hang of what the spirits were trying to say, so I grabbed my Spiral Tarot cards and took a glance at that specific past life's story and what had happened around the them of fathers or father figures.

Even if I found myself once again somehow grateful and taken that the spirits had not abandoned my longing to know everything about my life as Ned, but I was also disappointed. It meant I had to battle more with my ego... It was a flagrant fact the cards were telling the story of my past life in Australia. I hadn't expected anything special, but now that I was staring my cards wishing they had told another story.

But the message was loud and clear. I wasn't able to lie to myself either. I could understand my feelings (probably the spirits did as well) as I had been battling with my ego every now and then when it comes to my past life as Ned.

Suddenly I was surrounded with dim past life energy that the tarot cards had brought to surface. It wasn't new to me, that's something I've faced before when handling my Ned-energies. With the help of the spirits I now realized that indeed, I had been having past life daddy issues. For the sake of clearing any uncertainty, my head already buzzing with the new information, I asked what oracle card suggesting about looking into things too incautiously and both too carefully could mean. Once again there appeared two cards about Australia: Me concentrating too much about the egoistic hero side of that life and the many ways of struggling with mother issues. This was both a relief and a heart breaking moment for me to realize. It was also true I hadn't been looking enough into this past life, because of too much cautiousness. I felt like an idiot but at the same time I was truly grateful for the spirit world for their bold action in taking me closer to answers and a content life.

The cards I described told the story of Ned's father John 'Red' Kelly turning his back and leaving both symbolically and literally. It affected psychologically speaking who Ned, my past self became. In that past life I soon understood that filling my father's place and trade wasn't an easy job at all. One of the cards clearly reflected a time of hardships with taking care of the household both economically and in practice in a way on my own. Then of course I ended up in jail at one point.

I had grown an able bodied man and I considered myself a survivor in that rough life and therefore I thought I deserved and owned complete and absolute respect from society. If anyone was to violate the rights I had qualified for myself and my family, he was doomed, because I would do or say something about it. Damn right I would. I had redefined the laws considering my own property rights, some of them being of course more than understandable in the end. It would be a bad thing to mingle in any of our family affairs. I very deeply felt like I owned my life, our living, our family. It had been tough work and a tough past to get by for our whole family. I had finally taken the place of my that life's father and earned respectfully our position, considering the given difficult circumstances. (Even so I wouldn't be surprised if we committed small thefts when younger with my brothers before all the mess with constable Fitzpatrick and the Victorian police.)

The second last card aligned with the history  described the fights and battles with other people such as the police. I took that card as the spirit world's reassurance I was reading the right past life energies, so to speak. Even more assured I became just now because while finishing the sentence right before this one there occurred a spirit beep I clearhearingly get at times (I could describe it similar to tinnitus, but actually nothing like it).

The last card was puzzling. It presented a man and a woman a married couple and a symbol including both yin and yang the opposite life forces, the power of dualism. In this day I'm not totally certain the only thing the spirits were conveying with that Two of Cups was balance of gender energy. That's the easiest thing I could link with as the male-female oracle card was also represented in the spirit world's suggestion to correct the problem.

At this point the revelations weren't done. I was now able to track down in my quick mind flow my daddy issues in this life. My mother and father divorced, when I was young in this life, so being the oldest of the siblings I took a little more responsibility at a young age, although it had came to me naturally according to some stories I've heard from my relatives. When I was only a child, I had a lot of ambitious goals, but when the time came to make choices, I chose same or similar education as my father had. Even in my not so late education goals was to become a teacher like my father. It was not until NOW I realized I had been copying my father's foot steps unconsciously. I realized I was trying to make him proud as my mother's ways or my mother herself weren't nearly as honorable in my eyes. She was no way a role model that I would take willingly as a part of my living. No wonder my male past life tendencies have been surfacing so easily in this life, not having a father around too much and my main mother figures lacking the ability to live and love by respecting any personal limits and freedom...

I now understand that a lot of hate, pride and toughness from the experience of lack of freedom defined my certain pieces of personality traits even before the incidents with the Victorian police. The spirits wanted to tell me I had my very free choice in this life to choose a trade and a life path that was perhaps nothing like my father's in this life and that it is was my preplanned soul mission in this life to do what I want, what suits me, what doesn't make me recreate my past life 'mistakes'. Can you imagine that the unconscious par of our mind keeps repeating those parts of our past life personalities that we don't seem to need? I still know very profoundly that I had to go through this all, even in this life to understand deeply where I've come from, who I am and where I should be going next.