Saturday, 27 May 2017

A comrade: Isaiah 'Wild' Wright

I was feeling like sharing what happened to me today. I'm wishing this might help people thinking about their emotions towards different people in their lives and which emotions they are holding up to unconsciously. I've noticed that people tend to have a crush on people that they've known in the past lives, because of the possibly quite instant feeling of recognition, which confuses modern day humans more than it probably should. I have a history of having crushes all the time towards people I would unconsciously recognize. I've realized that behind it there is more to it than that and learnt to process this information flow in a way healthier way. Here's a story from a similar aspect.
I had some moments of sorrow crying over something very important from my past life today. I haven't been able to cry for a long time and I actually was just yesterday in a situation, where I wanted to be able to open up my feelings and cry. But today, for different reasons, I was finally able to do so.
I had this bushranger comrade called Wild Wright in the 19th century, who supported my gang back then in the days. I'm really not going into detail, because that I've told most of it already here before, but long story short I was Ned Kelly (I actually find this slightly irrelevant to mention, but I had this urge to tell you that Wild Wright was a GOOD GUY and deserves perhaps a little more respect).
Anyway, I finally got to know better the person who used to be Wild Wright, even though I've been aware of her identity for a year maybe. I was now left with bottled up feelings I wasn't first able to handle at all. Then I realized I felt anxiety, because I wanted to tell her what it really felt communicating with her. Because it was complicated, even for her, which she apparently noticed too. It being my imagination or not, I got worried about her own interpretation of what was going on between us. Because it was like loving a family member which kind of didn't fit with the fact that it was our first times getting to know each other. I wouldn't be able to tell her the reasons or my thoughts, because she probably doesn't understand or approve the idea of reincarnation. It bothered me, but I felt like I had no choice, so I ended up thinking all this stuff by myself I had in my mind from different point of views.
I realized I've never had those people in my life that I could defend. I've always had to protect myself out in the world and especially inside my family (there's this really rough stuff been going on for years and years that has affected me strongly). Because the feeling of needing protection from my own family, I haven't been really good at loving those people who I consider my real family (these people being most commonly friends). Now, I was in the situation, where I wanted to protect Wild Wright's incarnate for a rational (or a misjudged) point of view. It made me feel sorrow, because I wasn't able to do as I pleased. It confused me.
Then it just hit me out of the blue: I felt like I owed her so very much. And this was a huge emotion. I started to cry (hard and loud). Not because I had done bad things for her in past life, but because she had given me SO much back then. I understood that I hadn't been able to express this emotion as Ned. I cried more, because I realized that no-one would ever give anything from oneself and resources like that to another, if he hadn't considered the other as equal to a brother. At that point I had no idea what exactly happened between us in the history (after the well known bare knuckle boxing match and generally knowing he was a gang supporter after that), but this emotion and knowledge came so spontaneously and out of nowhere that I just felt I had to go by it and trust it..... And I did. Just a couple of hours later I googled everything I could find on Wild Wright and it matched so well with my experience that I'm stunned. I had strongly mistrusted my feelings, even though they felt so real.
After all that crying today I actually wasn't afraid anymore of any judgement from her if I just asked away if she was an atheist. What I now feel is that I want to be even truer to myself as I've been hiding my emotion behind ideals and protective barriers even from myself for some very, long, long time. I see and admit that I have problems to let people close to myself in this one aspect of denying my true feelings about them to a point they just bottle up. And most commonly those feelings are the positive kind. That is sad. It seems like have a strong need to get closer to these feelings and feel free once more.
Yup. I'm pretty confident I'm writing a book one day about my experiences. My life is like a big surprise party, considering all the constantly appearing possible ways sharing my story and my friends' and family's past life stories could be helping people heal PL wounds and figuring out their life purpose in the bigger picture.
Speaking of pictures, here's Isaiah Wild Wright. A good man with a bit of a wild and human side.

Monday, 1 May 2017

The incarnation of Ned Kelly, part 2

Each time I've thought that maybe the cycles of this incarnation being meaningful for me in this life have ended, something comes up. For some reason I sort of keep lying to myself about it: "I don't need memories of Ned Kelly anymore". But here we are again. It takes a lot of healthy self-respect to face a well known past life without ego interfering negatively...


The 7th of April (2017) I saw a dream that made no sense while seeing it, but after waking up it was no big deal to understand it's concept. I warn that this dream is heavily symbolic as most of my dreams are. I attached my analysis in the latter part of this post.

The first scene started in a rented modern accommodation. There was my mother and two people I know in real life.  We shall call these two folks here Dorothy and Peter (names changed) in this blog post and possibly in future occurrences. Dorothy and Peter used to be Ned's mother Ellen and John "Red" Kelly and this is a thing I've known for a fact for a couple of years. My mother whispered in the dream that it was a good time to tell these folks we've shared a past life together in Australia some 150 years ago. I'm not sure why they were present and why we were in this rented place anyway, but it was some sort of preparation for a soirĂ©e or such with relatives (such thing is coming up in waking life next month, but on a way grander scale). 

There was a cardboard shack built in one side of the room, where Dorothy and Peter would sleep overnight. I could not help myself noticing, that the shack was very similar to our past life home in Australia, even though it looked a little "crooked". Dorothy seemed apathetic, which is unusual for her nature, but I thought that she was tired or she had some worries that she wouldn't talk about.  My mother perhaps notices my thoughts and asks if I knew that she was suffering from "alkali" (or "alkaline"), which would turn down her nervous system, causing chronic fatigue, inability to move or speak well. So I understood, that what I was seeing was some sort of anxiety. My mother pointed out Dorothy had to now use a breathing machine each night.

The scene changes. I'm in some underground railway station that feels like the ones I've seen in London. It's not very tidy there. There must be some convention happening, because I bump into a security guard, who is impounding my friend's medicine. It feels slightly weird that there's a convention going on, because it's a public place for anyone to move across just minding their own business.

The medicine looks exactly like a vaseline jar (yellow and green, with a green clover leaf on it). He claims that such things are prohibited around here and throws it away while I'm trying to convince him it's medicine. This man seemed ignorant even though he didn't seem to get my point about the medicine. This random friend who feels like an old high school buddy is suffering from the same decease as Dorothy. This medicine is used like lip balm (on lips) and it would take away the symptoms and I acknowledge that Dorothy uses it as well. This friend immediately becomes weak and unable to move, so I take her in my arms and I try to move her somewhere safe (I almost would like to say he, as she was very masculine for a girl). I have no idea what happened to her next or was I even able to help.

Then I realize I'm in the same railway station, no idea how much time has passed, but I know that Dorothy was with me, her medicine is taken away and that she herself has been taken in by the railway personnel while I was somewhere else or "looking away". It's as if she's done something bad, but I know she hasn't done anything wrong. She is guarded in this railway station's warehouse section and I feel anguished that she could be raped or even killed. While I feel I'm not able to get to her, I'm looking at the railroad system. I was wishing for a metro as these trains would take only too far away and I had no purpose there nor money to travel such long distances. I could get lost. I was needed here.

I come by a person working for the warehouse, a man in dark clothing and mustache. I explain to him, that Dorothy must be released. He seems to be a part of the reasons why she got taken away with no reason. He mumbles something about "Oh poor me, I could loose my job for a misconduct." While I don't oppress him I know I'm right and I kind of assume that he would do the right thing. But all he does there is whine and I think to myself he is very self-centered for a person. 

Again, the scene changes. The medicine is given back and we're outside on the street. It appears we've been in London all the time. I have no idea how we were helped by others to get there. Anyway, Dorothy is still weak and she kind of positively surrenders to the situation and says she'll call a cab, even though it's expensive. I thought she would call the cab to exactly where we were standing, but for some reason she starts to walk away and I follow her. I have no idea where we're going, but I assume it's where she called the cab to come pick us up.

We arrive next to an old very small castle (or the visible portion made it look like that) that has long lost it's glory. There's homeless people outside and as we're walking by, they start to beg me for money. One of them is wearing a pink coat that reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. I thought for myself I would save it for another time. But they are persistent and the hands of the beggars grope my arms and bag. I realize my bag and my wallet inside is open and I start to feel very anguished. I manage to the spiral staircase and think that these homeless people would do so much better in the French revolution, not directing their anger towards random people. I realize I've lost Dorothy. I bump into a man who I think I know is a highly valued actor in Finland, but not my idol exactly. I try speaking English to him, then I look at his brown eyes and brown hair and try French. I get so boggled I don't understand a word I'm saying that the time leaps a moment forward. I happen to find "Dorothy" at another castle's gate, BUT now she's another person. She's my best friend and it's as if she's the one I've been running after the "whole time" (this was a vague impression). I wake up. 

How I interpreted some of the symbols in my dream: 

Underground railway station = Australia, "Down Under"
Security guard = policeman in guard
Warehouse = prison
Warehouse employee = policeman, probably different rank
Train = way out from the country
Metro = way out from the city or transportation inside the city
"alkali"/"alkaline" (referring to batteries) = loss of the ability to keep up the life and well-being, powerlessness
The medicine jar = the colors of the old Irish flag from Ellen's childhood --> all that is Irish??


The analysis will probably open itself better for the reader, if one knows the basic facts of the history behind the whole outlaw phenomenon.

Therefor, I'd suggest taking a look at these, before getting further:
Link to the Wikipedia article on Ned Kelly
The incarnation of Ned Kelly, part 1

At first I had no idea what this dream was about. I've been educating myself on symbolism for a few years bit by bit and also been into dream analysis. I've found it to be fertile for spiritual development, especially through bettering one's self-knowledge. Usually, when I see a past life related dream, there appears historical clothing or artifacts as mentioned in my previous post. In this dream it was visible at the beginning and at the end. It was very lucky for me to actually consider the direct hint of the "Australian cardboard shack home" as the theme of the dream, that's when I got on track with what this dream was about as I explain in following.

In the second part of the dream it seems I was (sort of) in London. London has actually become a symbol in my dreams. I was skeptic first, but when I tried to look at this dream from the Kelly family past life perspective, my theory was well supported. Not only does the occurrences in the dream relate well to the things that happened in Australia, but also there seems to be interesting details that I haven't been aware of in the official interpretation of the history. Why I see the symbolic location London interesting, is that Australia was governed by England and also my past life was situated in the capital city of Victoria.

When we found ourselves standing on streets of London, I feel it was some sort of transition phase in the dream. We exited from the underground railway station (without explanations on how it happened), therefor meaning we exited the area I interpreted as Australia in my dream. As history tells us, neither Ned or his mother managed to get out, so to speak.

I've had numerous dreams, where death has been present. Not symbolic death, but actual death. Whenever this happens, the symbols have varied, but there's always been someone crossing from one side to the other. Also dead people have been marked with a white linen fabric laying on the body. This dream jumped from one scene to another, which does make the interpretation harder. But we didn't use any trains or metro, that's for sure.

Also what I find interesting, is that in dreams, floors under the street level refer to our subconscious, where also our past lives reside in. I find it's not necessary for past life related things to happen underground in dreams, but maybe in this case it underlined the theme and meaning. When we exited, maybe we entered anther level of (dream) perspective as Dorothy was still suffering from the same decease, slowly recovering. Maybe it was symbolic to the life that followed after Australia.

In the latter part of the dream after calling the cab there were three things that would actually refer to another past life as I've had partially a very similar dream about before. I'm going to write another post on it in this blog in future, but that is a totally different matter.

What I find interesting, is that I thought Dorothy was in my responsibility while underground. That's not how things have been in this real and current life, not one bit. But it must've been the case for Ned. Whilst I haven't researched everything around the Kelly family history, I think it's possible that Dorothy, as in Ellen Kelly suffered from this lack of energy and an inability to keep it up; a depression of sorts. Now I have no idea who that old school friend symbolized, but he must've suffered from the same thing. I could leave neither of them just like that without any help, when other people were sabotaging their ability to live.

The medicine for this"alkali"/"alkaline" could've been something reminiscent to old Ireland, where at least Ellen was from. At first I was very confused by the yellow-green vaseline jar, but then I had the idea that maybe it had something to do with the national symbols of Ireland. I did some research and I found out that Ireland actually had a yellow-green flag until the time Ellen became of age. By then she had already moved into Australia. I suspect that things like the flag you knew all your life before moving into another country would retain it's significance. Maybe the medicine was symbolic to everything that used to be basic, good and honest back in the old times, that's how it feels to me. Also it did cross my mind, if the original nationality was taken away in different ways in Australia. But I have no clue about such, just a thought that came to my mind, after understanding the medicine's symbolic connection to Ireland.

The security guards and the warehouse employee must've definitely been symbolic to policemen. In my not so humble opinion, those are the folks that caused most of our drama and suffering in life as the history states. There exists different opinions on that matter, but I can only follow what my heart says. And what my visions and dreams have taught me. In the bits in the dream my opinions of those men weren't so aggressive, but more like frustrated. When Ellen was taken away, I was afraid that she could be raped or even killed. I find those fears understandable. The warehouse in my opinion was symbolic to prison. Maybe it was partially illogical to think that she could be killed there, but understandable, none the less.

I find my thoughts on that warehouse employee interesting. In my dream it was so very clear to me that they hadn't done right in taking Dorothy in. I consulted that employee thinking that he would free her, even if it meant that he would take some blame for admitting it wasn't right. I knew I didn't have the resources to free her on my own.

I've had a dream before that used the same London/England symbolism. I interpreted that I tried to escape Australia, to considered to find a way out from there. I haven't typed that dream here yet, but I sure will some point as it was an interesting one. Combining the information from these dreams together, I would boldly suggest that, when I was Ned, I many times considered the option of fleeing from the country, even if it seemed impossible. When I was looking at the underground trains, I knew they weren't going any place familiar to me. Their destination had nothing to give, those were my thoughts during that dream also. No people I knew, no shelter, nothing to do. As that metro seemed way more sensible as an option, I presume those were my past self's plans, after I had rescued Ellen-- my mother: To get to some other part of the state, farther away from problems. In the dream it may have seemed immoral to even momentarily consider getting away from the country, but according to history, after Ned wanted Ellen to be switched to him, the police refused from any compromises. Ned (and his brother Dan) became wanted.

The boy in London

This dream occurred to me the 3rd of June 2016 and something just now reminded me about this, so I thought it would be a good moment for myself to write thoughts down, including what exactly happened in that dream.

There's a place called Pyynikintori ("Pyynikki's market"), a former market town near my current home. Most of my childhood has also concentrated around this area for various reasons. There used to be a small old school grocery store there which was called Pyynikin Liha ("Pyynikki's Meat"). I used to visit it as a kid and a teenager, when attending to school and hobbies. To my logic at some point in the history, that grocery store really sold only meat.

In my dream I was going into a store that was placed exactly at the same spot. It's name was something like "Fine English Meat Shoppe". The clearest part to remember of it was "Fine English--", although I found some old notes about this dream that it also could've been "Fine Londonian--". When I enter, the whole place is found to be covered with meat in old style and in different forms. The walls were covered white and maybe light blue or green glossy tiles. There were roosts with meat hanging from them. It is an wondrous sight to look at from the aspect of my active thinker in dreams. The scene changes and I'm carrying groceries with my mother and my other little sister on the other side of Pyynikintori, (in front of my old music conservatory in real life). We start to load them inside a car, but my mother has issues to carry such weight. I rush into help as she almost drops some lemonade bottle made of glass (I had drank the previous weekend the same stuff a bunch, so I assume that is the reason it "leaked" inside of my dream as lemonade). I noted the bottle wasn't full and there was actually more than that one bottle that I rescue from her hands.

I never was so considerate in this real waking life, as I must humbly commit...

We walk down the street back again in a different scenery. There is an old man with a top hat and I somehow I thought I knew he was a kiddy fiddler / candy man of some sort. He was in position of some sweet substance that was somehow related to poison. That same man toddled each day or same day each week in a very slow pace across the market place. That's how he made himself seem innocent and normal. One time he tried to allure my little sister and I was veritably anguished by the idea of A) him trying to take away my little sister, but now that she got away, was he going to kill her? B) him possibly knowing that I knew what he was doing.

When I started to ponder on this dream, I soon understood it must've been a past life related, for all the following reasons. Now I suspect that in this past life I was about 8 to 9 years, when those dreams happened. By intuition, I could tell I was rather a boy, than a girl. I base the theory of my age to the fact that in my previous life, I died in 1880 and the Jack the Ripper murders happened in 1888.  Also, in 1918 I feel I've been around 30 years old in my next life... I can't remember if I acknowledged my own age during the dream, but my little sister was way younger in the dream and my mother seemed more stiff in motion than she is in this life. For the same reasons, I also think I didn't live much older. The reason for death in that past life is at this moment unknown to me.

Needless to say, this dream too was heavily symbolic, excluding a few small things like the man in the top hat and the store that sold meat. What I always find very curious about dream symbolism is that sometimes people I know symbolize very much different things in different dreams. Like a mother is usually a symbol for a part of one's superego. But sometimes my mother has been a symbol for the very real deal: herself. However, in this past life dream case I believe she was playing the role of my past life mother, who must've been a different soul. This is because I know that my current mother's incarnation died later than 1880 in her life, same goes for my little sister. They were both members of the Kelly family in Australia. So I find it possible they both symbolized other people. This has happened for other people too-- meaning of the symbolism of people in dreams switching in different situations and sometimes the people in their dreams aren't even layered with any symbols.

There is a common belief, that any historical items, clothes etc. in dreams are a good hint of a past life related dream. So far, I've found this theory to be very much true. Theoretically historical items aren't necessary for a dream to handle past lives, but so far I believe there's been always something, following a historical pattern and in that way 'out of place'. They have usually been the trigger to learn more about the other symbols and usually what I've found has very much seemed to fit in with real history.

Also, a few months before the dream occurred, I had done a psychic/medium exercise with my friend. We wrote down four questions on paper, turned them upside down and then drew in each other's papers four pictures as answers to those questions without knowing them beforehand. One of my questions happened to concern my past life as Ned Kelly. It was weird my friend drew actually a picture of London streets in 19th century and said that there was an anxious atmosphere to it and that it had something to do with Jack the Ripper. I happen to know a person in real life who finds possible that he was one of the Jack the Ripper imitators in a past life. But now I understood the possible explanation I had not considered before:

I have a theory about this past life, not so much intuitive. This was the next past life I had after Australia and I find it very much possible it was situated in London. Maybe I was a boy with a great imagination. That's what I've had since I was a child (which in my experience does NOT exclude the ability to intuition). Also, at those times there was a bunch of Jack the Ripper imitators and it was all in newspapers and gossip. So that makes equally possible that maybe my past self was right about that creepy man or that my past self only imagined him being similar to Jack the Ripper.

I have another reason to think that this life might have situated in London. A few years ago, I was trying to have a nap, when suddenly a very vivid vision opened to me and at the place of the window by my side opened the view of London and I felt very strongly it was home. I have always liked London and England, but that was the first time experiencing it by clear feeling.

To be honest, this past life makes me a little nervous. I like to keep all possibilities open about the truth, until I've had a proper past life regression or more other type of evidence about it. I know that we've all experienced awful things at some point in past lives and I don't see that thing in itself as a threat or anything morbid. I just feel I don't want to make any past life regressions on my own of past lives that are too grim, before I feel I'm experienced enough. That is the very same reason I haven't proceeded with my Ned Kelly past life 'investigations' lately. I'm interested in getting a proper past life regression from it.

When I work with spirits and past life readings, I'm only given what I can take. And if there is a person I'm giving the reading to, the spirits point out only things that are not meant to scare them, but to help them learn new things about their current life. I've had a couple of readings, where spirits have just stopped at one point, even shown me a brick wall, so that I wouldn't go further on the psychic level either. And these were some heavy lives. Responsibility is the way to go, I think.