Cutting karmic ties

An uneasy feeling took over my body and mind. I have been on vacation for a few days from exhausting projects and mostly enjoying my time. Today it wasn't as easy as I wanted it to be. After I went through all surfaced emotions angry and frustrated, it was time to feel my true emotions, my experience of being lost and sad. Why couldn't I already be at a point in my life, where I could serve humanity as the Seer that I experience myself as? I had offered a mediumship service the day before and conveyed multiple messages from the spirit world. But this experience of incompleteness existed still, because I couldn't do it for a living. 

Every now and then I took a deep breath, because the spirits reminded me to do so. As I became in contact with my feeling of being lost, I also found the question that I wanted to ask in that state: Who am I? Who am I now? What is the point in my life that I'm living currently and how would the spirits word it out for me?

My frustration didn't get away totally, so what I did was that I listened to a clip from a lovely Seer Niina-Matilda's book to be released. I listened to her soothing voice and comforting words and also found them meaningful in my curren life situation. Niina-Matilda was not the first person to tell me that it was in my soul's plan to become a healer in this life. If I'd let myself choose so, my position would be at least pointing out where the sickness was in the body, that's how she worded it, which a few months later actually did lead me to find out I could find the connection with the illness between our different energetic bodies in relation to the physical one.

I got a bit carried away there, but anyway - I got half way through the clip, when my whole day last desire to create new thoughts through doing something concrete took over. I searched and found some deep, new music (it was important that it was new to me) to listen to and I quite spontaneously decided to make a spirit journey. I asked for protection to my journey. I was asked by the spirits what I wanted and I said I wanted to clean my soul, my energy and find more about myself and what was creating me feeling like was being stuck.

This week for a couple of days the spirits gave me signs that my sacral chakra was working overactive. I didn't want to believe it (as an unfinished human being over-anything makes me feel ashamed), but the signs were clear. One of the signs was that a pimple appeared right on the back of my spine, where sacral chakra is located. "Oh boy, here we go" I thought. A few days later I suffered from very uncomfortable stomach cramps. I usually never had those during my menstrual cycle and later I discovered that my whole period was not doing it's normal thing. Next day I wake up not that well rested. I tried to ask for the spirits to help me, but I also was battling with the inner-knowing that all this was going to be a lesson experience. I had also noticed that in the end I had picked by my body's guidance-- foods that contained iron like liverwurst and spinach-- which could've suggested I had also problems with my root chakra.

My spirit journey started from a cave. Usually during these journeys, I've had to go to the cave first and when I've searched for answers inside it, I've only found my own fear reflecting from the astral and spirit world. It has never felt an easy journey until now. This time I was already in there and I decided to find my way to a scenery of a night sky, somewhere in Africa from the ceiling of the cave. The starry scenery was very pure and clear and the ground was lit vaguely by an unknown source of light. The ground was covered with tile red dust. I sensed and saw glimpses of few animals around me.

I had a hunch this was a new platform for my on-going and future journeys in the spirit world. An eagle flew over to me, holding some sort of vessel filled with yellow liquid that felt bad for health in it's claws. I knew the liquid had something to do with fat and organic functions near the liver, possibly affecting the spleen. "What am I supposed to do with that?" I thought. The scenery changed. I know I now was situated somewhere in the human world. I see a man collapsing against the kitchen counter while his wife rushes over to him. He's having a seizure and is about to die. Because I'm taken there to see it, I instantly reason to myself that I must be there to heal this man as a spirit. I take the vessel now looking like a glass jar from the eagle's claws and I rush to find a way to clear it. I throw away the yellow substance to a basket (I thought that it would've done ill to throw the man's sickness to the ground representing our Mother Earth) and find a river where to clear the jar. When the jar is dry and empty I find that it's not clean and that clear water wasn't enough to clean it. I find a cauldron and boil some hot water. Finally I'm done with the cleaning. I'm constantly reminded by the spirits that I should not rush as I could not think clearly. At the same time I could feel time fleeing and the man getting closer to his death. I fill the jar with fresh water. When I'm rushing back to the scenery where the man is dying, the spirits tell me there is no point to rush as a healer, because then no remedy would be as effective as it should. Every step of the way was important energy to complete the healing efficiently. I understand that I have been clearing the man's organs energetically to help him recover from the seizure before it's too late.

Fearsome images merge from the man's body confronting me as I reach the kitchen and in a few moments I understand the images represented the fear of the ego leaving the material world and vanishing. For a moment they were also mirroring my own fears in the situation of getting turned down from my help. I manage to hand over the jar with fresh water 'to him'.

In no time I see the man's spirit separate from the body and staring to my eyes. He's smiling knowingly. I now understood he wanted to leave the body, it was his decision all along. My efforts to help him were in vain. Now he wasn't the one in need of healing: I was his student in the situation. I could not heal someone not needing nor wanting help. I understood same thing would go down with everyone I ever decided to provide spiritual guidance to.

The scenery changes. I'm taken to a grassy field. I'm a woman in a vaguely historical garment standing next to a forest alone. Suddenly I feel hands grabbing me from my back and his lips touching my ear in lust. His closeness and his words that I couldn't hear felt sickening. I shake away from his grip and tell him to leave me. I walk away a few dozen meters from the forest and let myself fall on my knees to wonder what had just happened. I felt strong confusion going inside of me. In no time while still wondering I find that same man returning to me, now taken over by his decision to rape this female body of mine in that past life. In the end the man probably leaves, I'm not sure. But I feel the woman's confusion has no end and because it has no end it feels pestering. She asked "Why I wasn't given the opportunity to love the one that entered my body?" I ask what I should learn from this and I'm given a red rose as a symbol with clairknowing of it's message: It would do good to let myself love free when it comes to romantic feelings. I understood that I had been craving for love and closeness for myself that I hadn't dared to ask. That it wasn't only my romantic partner's choice to love or want me.

 I know that sex creates a karmic bond, even if it didn't happen from love. I then asked from the spirits about what I should do. I seeked the energy of the man that raped my past self and let my past self do the work. My present-self felt now confused too, because of the need I felt my past-self had, but I did it anyway. I kissed the man on his lips gently and then gave him a hug. That was my forgiveness and acceptance of an apology from him in advance, even if I never felt him say he was sorry. I knew he couldn't say that, because he didn't know better yet. That energy felt child like, emptied from the darkness it held inside, harmless at that present moment, so little left of what he was. Then I sent him away the same path in the woods he had popped into my past self's life. I watched his back as he walked farther and farther away. It took a good moment. When he was at the end of the visible path it started to look like he couldn't go any further without me interfering. I pushed him out of sight with my mind.

I had to open my eyes, because I heard falling on my table. Earlier I had been squeezing an orange pen in my palm, but I had opened my hands during my journey a good while earlier. The item fallen on the table in front of me was that particular orange pen. The color orange represented the color of y sacral chakra. I knew the situation had been sealed for good and that pen also underscored it as a sign.

Next up the spirits took me to a place that felt like a spiritual school. I was walking around in orange trousers with yellow robes and a headpiece with maybe accents of red. The clothing reminded me very much of something I had seen before somewhere in the media. It had elements that reminded me of Russian, Turkish and Indian way of dressing in maybe ancient carvings and art. Because I didn't recognize it, it bothered me a bit, but I let it go. I meet a spirit of a female who has a very adviser type of touch to her energy. She gives me a symbolic tool to my future romantic relationships. It's a brush for washing my partner's back with love. The symbol of love, tenderness and forgiveness (which cleans away any harsh history between us) and at the other end of the brush there were scissors for cutting the karmic bond between us once and for a all.

I find myself back again at the African plains under the starry sky. I have only vague impressions of the discussion I had with the spirits in this last part, but I remember having the clairknowing sensation that the problem with my sacral chakra was now fixed from at least one area. I could feel it had had an effect on my solar plexus too. I asked if I needed to know nothing more for today, the answer was no.

 It keeps amazing me how simple it is to heal past lives during meditation. This was the first time I feel I have forgiven someone from a past life as efficiently. I'm awaiting changes to my physical and mental health during the next few days. Right now I feel... relieved. I believe and assume this past life healing was linked to the series of other feminine healing I've been confronting for a couple of years now.

Ironically right after I was done and came back to social media I bumped into this gif-picture saying: "When you say goodnight to your date and let out a fart you've been holding in all night". That might emphasize the problem I had been holding to from my past life energywise...



Spirits and their humor!

In the end, I wasn't given a straight answer to why I can't fulfill my mission in the spiritual area of life, but this definitely gave me more wisdom about listening to the signs of my body and some meaningful things about healing... Time will show.

A comrade: Isaiah 'Wild' Wright

[4.10.2016]

I was feeling like sharing what happened to me today. I'm wishing this might help people thinking about their emotions towards different people in their lives and which emotions they are holding up to unconsciously. I've noticed that people tend to have a crush on people that they've known in the past lives, because of the possibly quite instant feeling of recognition, which confuses modern day humans more than it probably should. I have a history of having crushes all the time towards people I would unconsciously recognize. I've realized that behind it there is more to it than that and learnt to process this information flow in a way healthier way. Here's a story from a similar aspect.

I had some moments of sorrow crying over something very important from my past life today. I haven't been able to cry for a long time and I actually was just yesterday in a situation, where I wanted to be able to open up my feelings and cry. But today, for different reasons, I was finally able to do so.

I had this bushranger comrade called Wild Wright in the 19th century, who supported my gang back then in the days. I'm really not going into detail, because that I've told most of it already here before, but long story short I was Ned Kelly (I actually find this slightly irrelevant to mention, but I had this urge to tell you that Wild Wright was a GOOD GUY and deserves perhaps a little more respect).

Anyway, I finally got to know better the person who used to be Wild Wright, even though I've been aware of her identity for a year maybe. I was now left with bottled up feelings I wasn't first able to handle at all. Then I realized I felt anxiety, because I wanted to tell her what it really felt communicating with her. Because it was complicated, even for her, which she apparently noticed too. It being my imagination or not, I got worried about her own interpretation of what was going on between us. Because it was like loving a family member which kind of didn't fit with the fact that it was our first times getting to know each other. I wouldn't be able to tell her the reasons or my thoughts, because she probably doesn't understand or approve the idea of reincarnation. It bothered me, but I felt like I had no choice, so I ended up thinking all this stuff by myself I had in my mind from different point of views.

I realized I've never had those people in my life that I could defend. I've always had to protect myself out in the world and especially inside my family (there's this really rough stuff been going on for years and years that has affected me strongly). Because the feeling of needing protection from my own family, I haven't been really good at loving those people who I consider my real family (these people being most commonly friends). Now, I was in the situation, where I wanted to protect Wild Wright's incarnate for a rational (or a misjudged) point of view. It made me feel sorrow, because I wasn't able to do as I pleased. It confused me.

Then it just hit me out of the blue: I felt like I owed her so very much. And this was a huge emotion. I started to cry (hard and loud). Not because I had done bad things for her in past life, but because she had given me SO much back then. I understood that I hadn't been able to express this emotion as Ned. I cried more, because I realized that no-one would ever give anything from oneself and resources like that to another, if he hadn't considered the other as equal to a brother. At that point I had no idea what exactly happened between us in the history (after the well known bare knuckle boxing match and generally knowing he was a gang supporter after that), but this emotion and knowledge came so spontaneously and out of nowhere that I just felt I had to go by it and trust it..... And I did. Just a couple of hours later I googled everything I could find on Wild Wright and it matched so well with my experience that I'm stunned. I had strongly mistrusted my feelings, even though they felt so real.

After all that crying today I actually wasn't afraid anymore of any judgement from her if I just asked away if she was an atheist. What I now feel is that I want to be even truer to myself as I've been hiding my emotion behind ideals and protective barriers even from myself for some very, long, long time. I see and admit that I have problems to let people close to myself in this one aspect of denying my true feelings about them to a point they just bottle up. And most commonly those feelings are the positive kind. That is sad. It seems like have a strong need to get closer to these feelings and feel free once more.

Yup. I'm pretty confident I'm writing a book one day about my experiences. My life is like a big surprise party, considering all the constantly appearing possible ways sharing my story and my friends' and family's past life stories could be helping people heal PL wounds and figuring out their life purpose in the bigger picture.

Speaking of pictures, here's Isaiah Wild Wright. A good man with a bit of a wild and human side.

The boy in London

This dream occurred to me the 3rd of June 2016 and something just now reminded me about this, so I thought it would be a good moment for myself to write thoughts down, including what exactly happened in that dream.

There's a place called Pyynikintori ("Pyynikki's market"), a former market town near my current home. Most of my childhood has also concentrated around this area for various reasons. There used to be a small old school grocery store there which was called Pyynikin Liha ("Pyynikki's Meat"). I used to visit it as a kid and a teenager, when attending to school and hobbies. To my logic at some point in the history, that grocery store really sold only meat.

In my dream I was going into a store that was placed exactly at the same spot. It's name was something like "Fine English Meat Shoppe". The clearest part to remember of it was "Fine English--", although I found some old notes about this dream that it also could've been "Fine Londonian--". When I enter, the whole place is found to be covered with meat in old style and in different forms. The walls were covered white and maybe light blue or green glossy tiles. There were roosts with meat hanging from them. It is an wondrous sight to look at from the aspect of my active thinker in dreams. The scene changes and I'm carrying groceries with my mother and my other little sister on the other side of Pyynikintori, (in front of my old music conservatory in real life). We start to load them inside a car, but my mother has issues to carry such weight. I rush into help as she almost drops some lemonade bottle made of glass (I had drank the previous weekend the same stuff a bunch, so I assume that is the reason it "leaked" inside of my dream as lemonade). I noted the bottle wasn't full and there was actually more than that one bottle that I rescue from her hands.

I never was so considerate in this real waking life, as I must humbly commit...

We walk down the street back again in a different scenery. There is an old man with a top hat and I somehow I thought I knew he was a kiddy fiddler / candy man of some sort. He was in position of some sweet substance that was somehow related to poison. That same man toddled each day or same day each week in a very slow pace across the market place. That's how he made himself seem innocent and normal. One time he tried to allure my little sister and I was veritably anguished by the idea of A) him trying to take away my little sister, but now that she got away, was he going to kill her? B) him possibly knowing that I knew what he was doing.

When I started to ponder on this dream, I soon understood it must've been a past life related, for all the following reasons. Now I suspect that in this past life I was about 8 to 9 years, when those dreams happened. By intuition, I could tell I was rather a boy, than a girl. I base the theory of my age to the fact that in my previous life, I died in 1880 and the Jack the Ripper murders happened in 1888.  Also, in 1918 I feel I've been around 30 years old in my next life... I can't remember if I acknowledged my own age during the dream, but my little sister was way younger in the dream and my mother seemed more stiff in motion than she is in this life. For the same reasons, I also think I didn't live much older. The reason for death in that past life is at this moment unknown to me.

Needless to say, this dream too was heavily symbolic, excluding a few small things like the man in the top hat and the store that sold meat. What I always find very curious about dream symbolism is that sometimes people I know symbolize very much different things in different dreams. Like a mother is usually a symbol for a part of one's superego. But sometimes my mother has been a symbol for the very real deal: herself. However, in this past life dream case I believe she was playing the role of my past life mother, who must've been a different soul. This is because I know that my current mother's incarnation died later than 1880 in her life, same goes for my little sister. They were both members of the Kelly family in Australia. So I find it possible they both symbolized other people. This has happened for other people too-- meaning of the symbolism of people in dreams switching in different situations and sometimes the people in their dreams aren't even layered with any symbols.

There is a common belief, that any historical items, clothes etc. in dreams are a good hint of a past life related dream. So far, I've found this theory to be very much true. Theoretically historical items aren't necessary for a dream to handle past lives, but so far I believe there's been always something, following a historical pattern and in that way 'out of place'. They have usually been the trigger to learn more about the other symbols and usually what I've found has very much seemed to fit in with real history.

Also, a few months before the dream occurred, I had done a psychic/medium exercise with my friend. We wrote down four questions on paper, turned them upside down and then drew in each other's papers four pictures as answers to those questions without knowing them beforehand. One of my questions happened to concern my past life as Ned Kelly. It was weird my friend drew actually a picture of London streets in 19th century and said that there was an anxious atmosphere to it and that it had something to do with Jack the Ripper. I happen to know a person in real life who finds possible that he was one of the Jack the Ripper imitators in a past life. But now I understood the possible explanation I had not considered before:

I have a theory about this past life, not so much intuitive. This was the next past life I had after Australia and I find it very much possible it was situated in London. Maybe I was a boy with a great imagination. That's what I've had since I was a child (which in my experience does NOT exclude the ability to intuition). Also, at those times there was a bunch of Jack the Ripper imitators and it was all in newspapers and gossip. So that makes equally possible that maybe my past self was right about that creepy man or that my past self only imagined him being similar to Jack the Ripper.

I have another reason to think that this life might have situated in London. A few years ago, I was trying to have a nap, when suddenly a very vivid vision opened to me and at the place of the window by my side opened the view of London and I felt very strongly it was home. I have always liked London and England, but that was the first time experiencing it by clear feeling.

To be honest, this past life makes me a little nervous. I like to keep all possibilities open about the truth, until I've had a proper past life regression or more other type of evidence about it. I know that we've all experienced awful things at some point in past lives and I don't see that thing in itself as a threat or anything morbid. I just feel I don't want to make any past life regressions on my own of past lives that are too grim, before I feel I'm experienced enough. That is the very same reason I haven't proceeded with my Ned Kelly past life 'investigations' lately. I'm interested in getting a proper past life regression from it.

When I work with spirits and past life readings, I'm only given what I can take. And if there is a person I'm giving the reading to, the spirits point out only things that are not meant to scare them, but to help them learn new things about their current life. I've had a couple of readings, where spirits have just stopped at one point, even shown me a brick wall, so that I wouldn't go further on the psychic level either. And these were some heavy lives. Responsibility is the way to go, I think.

The Grounding School

I have still a Ned Kelly (and Ellen Kelly) themed past life dream waiting in line to be published, but especially ever since the events that I unfolded in my last blog post, my concentration has been strongly guided elsewhere.

The theme in my life right now is grounding. I came very ill a couple of days ago. Now my other symptoms are pretty much gone, but my voice is completely lost, I'm basically mute. I haven't had such thing in my life. I pondered and researched the reasons for all of this actively-- grounding did come to my mind too, but only after I let go of trying, silenced my mind and slowed down my pace of living, my spirit guide was willing to tell me what this muteness was serving.

Before exposing the basic reason, they told me to just let myself be sick and not change the situation drastically. Anyway I did ask for help for my somewhat grave breathing problems I woke up to this morning and they actually instantly enlarged my airways as I felt I had been almost suffocating. They've given me a lot of help with taming the other symptoms as well, but the muteness remains. Basically, what they did, was that they stopped me and then didn't "let" me speed up my pace to what it's been for so many years. This gives so much more space for me to silence myself and do the grounding I so much needed.

I don't only feel, I know for a fact, that the vision of my Native American past life activated this phase in my life. I could never imagine that I would be able to inquire these steps of wisdom at this stage on my spiritual path. The serious part in my grounding school has started.

If you read my last blog post, you will understand a piece of the importance of the wisdom about grounding oneself and the connection to our Mother Earth. I always overlooked the whole idea of what grounding truly means. If you're doing it also-- consciously or not -- I assure you, I will some day teach this for people around me. I'm in hopes I'll find a spot to write about it here in my blog too, more in depth.

This is a past life themed blog primarily, but as you notice (if you read the last post), all of this just yielded from a spontaneous past life vision. Such can be the power of spiritual living in past lives. It is in my soul mission to relearn all of this. All types of past life experiences can rush all the way from our unconsciousness to our conscious mind, providing amazing wisdom and resources of an extensive variety to provide help on our spiritual path (and of others').